All's Fair in Love and War
by lilacbird
Summary: In a war as big as this, what difference could one person possibly make? Raguna and Zavier are about to find out. RagunaxZavier slash. R&R please!
1. Poppy

**A story that grew from an idea. What more can I say? A tale of Raguna and Zavier fighting the war against the Sechs Empire. The pairing will be Raguna/Zavier... eventually.**

_He fell to his knees beside her, scooping up her limp, bloodied body in his arms. She was still alive. He hugged her close to him; unable to stop the tears brimming in his eyes as he shook his head furiously, refusing to believe what he was seeing was real. It didn't feel real. His mind seemed far away from his body, like in a dream. A nightmare._

"_Raguna." She spoke, blood pouring from her mouth like a scarlet fountain._

_He let her go quickly, laying her down gently on the ground as not to hurt her any more than she already was. He stroked her cheek, his tears falling onto her weakening body. "Yes?" He choked out._

"_Wh-Where's Poppy?" She asked. "Where's Poppy?"_

_His heart leapt up to his throat, and he felt he was going to be sick as he remembered. He couldn't bring himself to tell her. "She's fine. I... I told her to run back to Kardia. She's fine." He whispered, brushing back her hair that was sticking to her forehead with blood._

_She looked up at him with clouding eyes. "Don't lie to me. Tell me. Where's Poppy?" Her voice grew frantic. "Where's Poppy?! Where's-" Her screams were silenced by a clot of blood that rose in her throat and spattered across her face, causing her break into a fit of coughs. He shushed her, wiping the blood from her face with his hand, though he himself was already drenched with the red stuff._

_She gazed up at him, knowing. "...She's dead, isn't she?"_

_Fresh tears came to his eyes once more, and he clung to her dying body, unable to stand the fact that she would die so sad, in such pain and anguish. Her warm blood stained his clothes, hands and face._

_He heard her let out a long, pitiful moan, which was surely the sound of her heart breaking. She whimpered Poppy's name until she was too weak to even talk. He held her until he felt the last breath leave her lips. Her body was still warm in his arms. Then, slowly but surely, it began to fade. Until finally, she was cold._

--

Raguna leant back against the side of the boat, enjoying the cool spray of the water on his brow. It was too hot, and he had better things to be dwelling on- namely the oncoming drama. They were due to land in a rural area of the Sechs Empire in a hour, where they would take on the Sechs Army- who were better trained and better equipped than them.

They were The Resistance, rebels with a cause, fighting for freedom against the powers of the Sechs Empire. To the Empire they were no threat- just a minor annoyance, a bug that needed to be squashed. But to Raguna- and everyone else in The Resistance- they were making a difference, no matter how small. In Raguna's mind, if he could save at least one person from imprisonment, slavery, or death each day, it added up to seven people a week, one-hundred-and-twenty people a year. And that gave him a small piece of satisfaction amongst his sorrow.

Zavier flopped down beside him, fanning himself with his hand. He leant completely over the side of the boat and scooped up some water with his helmet. Leaning back, he quickly placed the helmet on his head, letting the brown water soak his head and shoulders.

"It's way too hot today." He said. Raguna nodded in response.

"You ready to take on the S.E, eh?" Zavier asked. Raguna simply groaned in reply. Annoyed, Zavier scooped up some more water in his helmet and poured it defiantly over Raguna's head. "Hey, I'm talking to you!"

Raguna spluttered, spitting out the dirty water, and swatting playfully at Zavier. "I could have you demoted for that, Private!"

"Demote me to what?" Zavier smirked, sticking his tongue out at Raguna like a little kid. "_Lieu-ten-ant!"_ He spoke Raguna's title slowly and sharply, as if it was an insult- Raguna had been promoted after his superior swordsmanship skills had been realised.

Raguna sighed. When he had joined The Resistance, he hadn't been betting on Zavier joining up too. He was still just a kid- he wasn't even sure if he knew what the war against the Sechs Empire was about. When they'd first entered their platoon, both unsuspecting and inexperienced, Zavier had been teased a lot. Though he was only a year younger than Raguna, he was short for a male, and his feathery dark blond hair and freckles made him look a lot younger than twenty-one. Raguna hoped he might leave- this was _his _mission, and he didn't want Zavier there to remind him of the past- but Zavier stood firm and refused to budge. He might've been smaller than the other officers, but he could talk the talk. He knew swear words that Raguna had never even heard of.

He smiled at Zavier. At times like these, it was nice to have a friend there for you- even if he _was_ a brat. It wasn't that he _wanted _Zavier to be there- he could get by fine on his own- but still, it was nice.

"We'd better get out kit ready." Raguna said, prompting a groan of protest from Zavier.

"But it's _too hot..._" He wailed.

"Tough." Raguna said firmly, getting up from where he sat and picking up his camouflage jacket. He threw Zavier's shirt in his face, forcing him to stop his whining. He leant over the side of the boat and soaked his shirt in the river before shrugging it on. Raguna sighed. "You shouldn't do that. It'll make you sore and you'll catch a cold."

"In this heat? Ha!" Zavier snorted ignorantly, hopping around on one leg as he pulled on his boots.

"Put socks on first, or you'll get blisters."

"Oh, shut up, _sir._"

Raguna simply shook his head as his fastened his jacket. Their uniform consisted of a plain white tank top, on top of which they wore a dark green jacket with sleeves that could be worn full length, or just to the elbows should the soldier choose. They wore baggy camouflage trousers- Zavier's were too big for him, but money in The Resistance was too tight to afford new ones- and black-green boots that they tucked their trousers into just to stop them tripping over the cuffs. Plus they had their backpacks in which they kept their tent, cooking equipment and first aid kits; their guns which they word slung over their shoulders; and a knife at their belts for close-combat. Together, it was all quite heavy, and the summer heat made it even worse.

"Raguna, I hate you." Zavier grumbled as he pulled on his jacket. "I'm gonna stink tonight..."

"Don't you always?" Raguna said jokingly. He sat down on a crate and began to load his gun, as did many of the other soldiers. He sighed exasperatedly as he realised that he'd accidentally put the bullets in the wrong way around. He emptied his gun and began to load it again. He might've been good with a sword, but with firearms it was different.

He picked up the gun, looking through the viewfinder; setting it on anything he could see- a bird in the sky, a tree on the distant shore- to improve his aim.

"Stop waving that around, will you? You're making me dizzy." Zavier complained, leaning against the side of the boat. Raguna pointed the gun at him and shouted "Bang!" causing Zavier to jump and lose his balance, and he toppled backwards right _over _the side of the boat and into the water.

A wave of laughter rippled over the boat. Raguna rushed to the side of the boat to find a very disgruntled Zavier swimming furiously to try to keep up with the boat.

"Oh God! I thought I'd really shot you!" Raguna shouted to him, laughing.

"Raguna, you bastard! Stop the boat!" Zavier shouted back angrily.

Raguna disappeared into the driver's cabin, and shortly the boat stopped, allowing Zavier to heave himself onto the deck- with the help of a few others. Coughing and spluttering, he shook himself out like a dog, spraying the other soldiers.

"Raguna, you sod." He gasped.

Raguna began to smile. "I scared you, didn't I?"

Zavier eyes immediately flamed and he was instantly on the defensive. "No." He spat.

Raguna shrugged. "Okay, then. I believe you." He said, but his smile said otherwise. Zavier clenched his fists and seethed with anger and humiliation.

"You better be careful, or when we get to shore, _I _might be the one to kill you!" He said. "The S.E. wouldn't even get a look in!"

Raguna smiled. He knew Zavier didn't mean it- he was one to make empty threats, and say things he had no intention of carrying out. Catching his smile, Zavier pouted childishly, causing the older female soldiers to 'aw' and comment on how cute he was. Zavier blushed to the roots of his hair, and the male soldiers started sniggering.

And just when it seemed Zavier was about to pick a fight he couldn't possibly win, Raguna announced "Land." He turned back to his comrades. "We're here. Ready?"

And suddenly the whole light-hearted atmosphere in the boat was gone, and The Resistance fell silent. Picking up their weapons and fastening up their helmets, they each nodded to each other as a sort of mutual acceptance that some of them would not make it out alive.

Giving what could've been their final respects to each other, one of the youngest soldiers- a girl barely eighteen years old- turned to Raguna, standing bolt upright and saluting, announced "We're ready."

--

**I've been dying to write this for ages! But I couldn't because I've been having to revise for a physics exam- but now that's all over, I can devote my time to my writing once again! I'll be working on this, along with my other Harvest Moon story, 'Differences'. If any of you have read it, I just want to say that I won't abandon it to write this!**


	2. And So It Begins

Sechs were running along the riverbank. Some of them were wearing the familiar black uniform of the Sechs Army, but some of them were wearing ordinary clothes. Squinting past the thick forest of trees that lined the bank, Raguna could see the shadowy forms of houses. Then he realised- it was a village. A Sechs village.

Raguna blinked in disbelief, as if the houses would disappear before his eyes. The S.E. had decided on the area where they were to fight- why would they choose a village of their own people? Innocent civilians would die. Then it hit him- that was what they wanted. They wanted to make out that The Resistance was a cowardly organisation, targeting the unarmed, and that the S.E. was trying to protect the village. They didn't care about their people. They were going to use their deaths as propaganda.

Flicking the safety catch off his gun, he shouted to his comrades. "It's a village- do _not _hurt the civilians, I repeat, _do not _hurt them!" He adjusted his helmet, and the soldiers all ducked as a poorly aimed shell exploded in the water and send a fierce spray of water scattering over them. Pinned to the deck, Raguna caught Zavier's eye and he smiled at him. Zavier grinned back- though he was breathing hard.

The boat rocked violently as it mounted land, knocking its crew back. There was a lot of shouting, and the explosions had well and truly set in, with the steadily loudening whistles followed by the deafening bangs.

A high-pitched whistle rang out- the signal for The Resistance to go over the top. Time seemed to slow down as they hopped awkwardly over the side of the boat, wading knee-deep through the water towards the shore. Raguna could hear nothing but his heart beating steadily. He knew it should be pounding. He knew he should be scared. But he wasn't. He didn't fear death, because he no longer had much to live for. Not really. Not any more.

Machine gun fire rang out, pelting the water like raindrops, and the teenage girl who had first saluted fell, the water around her head turning red. The forest was ablaze, thick, black smoke billowing upwards, darkening the sky as the sun disappeared behind the smog.

By the time they reached the shore everything was a blur. Blinded and choked by the smoke and deafened by the explosions, they stumbled sightlessly forward. Their weapons were child's toys compared to those of the Sechs Army, but a single soldier had in him more determination, more will to win than the whole of the S.E. combined.

Dragging himself onto land, soaked with water and sweat, Raguna only just noticed the elderly villager lunging at him with a sickle before it was too late. Raising his arms, he grabbed the old man's wrists, and he stopped, struggling like a dying fish in Raguna's grasp.

"_I don't want to hurt you!"_

"_Then why are you attacking our village?"_ The old man wheezed back. There was a bang, and Raguna saw the man's eyes widen. The he fell, dead.

Raguna stared down at his body in horror. He turned to try to see who had shot him- "I told you not to hurt them!" but they were gone, and he was the only one left on the riverbank. Smoke was beginning to rise from the village.

"No!" Raguna seethed in frustration. He didn't know who was destroying the village- it could've been The Resistance, but it could just as easily have been the S.E. He ran forward up the path into the village, ignoring the flames licking at him from the trees.

Upon reaching the village centre, he found civilians running left and right, screaming, bleeding, crying out for lost family members. A young Sech girl was on the ground, bent protectively over the body of a small boy, maybe her brother. His eyes darting around, Raguna saw a Sech soldier raise his gun from behind a tree. The nozzle of the gun flashed, and a stream of bullets tore through the girls back, passing right through her body and penetrating the boy below her. They were killing their own people.

Raguna's eyes sparked and he shot at the Sech soldier. The soldier clutched his side and crumpled to the ground. Raguna marched calmly over to him, looking down at him in disdain. The soldier raised his hands to beg for mercy, and Raguna fired three more shots.

--

Zavier's heart was slamming so hard against his ribcage that he feared it would break out of his chest altogether, and his blood was roaring in his ears. He felt his knees give way beneath him, and he allowed himself to collapse, gasping for breath, behind a fence. He knew he shouldn't stay there for long- if you were still, you were dead.

He wiped his brow on the back of his hand, leaving black smudges on his face, and then stumbled to his feet. He staggered out into the centre of the village, coughing, eyes watering. He frowned. He recognised the black uniforms of the S.E., but amongst the chaos, he swore that they were aiming not at The Resistance, but at the village, the greenery and civilians.

He heard shouting, and, looking to his right, he saw an S.E. soldier towering over a member of The Resistance whom he had managed to disarm and knock to the ground. The S.E. soldier was armed only with a blade, and looking closer Zavier could see his discarded firearm lying by the wreckage of a house nearby.

His body moved before his head had time to stop it, and he flew at the S.E. soldier, grabbing the wrist he held the knife in. The soldier was momentarily stunned, and Zavier had time to draw back his fist and launch a powerful punch across the man's jaw. He could hear himself shouting to his comrade.

"Get up, stupid!"

The young soldier struggled to his feet obediently, and another Resistance member running past helped him to straighten up and dragged him away. Watching this over his shoulder, Zavier did not notice the S.E. officer compose himself, and turning back he was met by a ferocious punch across his face. Zavier automatically let go of the man, and the soldier, seeing his advantage, then drove his strong fist into Zavier's stomach, which had Zavier instantly on his knees and retching helplessly.

Wiping a trickle of blood from his lip, the S.E. soldier tightened his grip on his blade and lunged at Zavier with murderous intent. Raising his eyes, Zavier's only thought was not to die. He caught the length of the blade in his bare hand. The S.E. soldier continued to push down on the blade, and Zavier could feel the metal biting into his skin, and his grip weakened as blood began to ooze between his fingers. Grinding his nails into the ground with his opposite hand in pain, Zavier's eyes set and, shifting in his position, he launched a kick upwards to make contact with the man's stomach.

The man was knocked back, his weapon sent spinning to the ground, and, seizing his chance, Zavier scrambled to his feet and hit him again, knocking him against the broken wreckage of what once was a house. His heart was pounding, but he didn't feel afraid. When you were fighting for your life, you didn't have the time to feel afraid.

Grabbing the S.E. soldier by the front of his black uniform, he pinned him against the wreck, and for a second their eyes locked and the realisation hit home- it was Zavier or him. One of them wasn't going to make it out of this alive.

As the prospect of death occurred to Zavier, he involuntarily paused, and his grip loosened on the black uniform. He didn't even notice as the officer's hand twisted round and tore a loose piece of wood from the wreckage- until he drove the sharp end into his side.

Zavier was too struck to even cry out as the burning wood pierced his skin and ground against his ribs. As the sharpness withdrew from his side, he gasped, a bitter, brassy taste filling his mouth. He lurched forward and let it all out, vomiting blood. His shaking hands moved to clutch his side, and he felt the warm wet redness spill over his already-bleeding hands, soaking his clothes. He was on his knees by now.

The shadow that the S.E. soldier cast onto the ground shifted and Zavier could sense, in his clouding mind, that he was raising his weapon to finish the job. He closed his eyes and waited for death. But death didn't come. Instead, a bang, and the S.E. soldier fell, dead.

--

Raguna was trapped in a struggle with a civilian. Despite Raguna's desperate attempts to explain, the young man before him refused to listen and continued trying to prise the gun from Raguna's hands, shouting abuse. The weapon was locked horizontally between them, each unwilling to give up their hold in fear they would die if they did.

Behind him, Raguna heard screaming. The scream was choked and weak, but it was in a voice he recognised. Twisting his neck uncomfortably, he strained to look behind him to confirm his hunch, not caring that it could be a fatal mistake. Scanning the area frantically, he spotted Zavier and an S.E. soldier pinned against a house. And there was blood... all over his clothes...

Quicker than his opponent could blink, Raguna had released the barrel of the gun, sending the bullets spilling all over the floor, rendering the weapon useless. Pushing the Sech man away, Raguna stumbled over the exploding battlefield, his mind set on only one thing- Zavier.

Bullets pelted the ground behind him, and Raguna ducked down so that he lay flat on the ground. Pushing his helmet up so that he could see properly, Raguna saw, only a few feet before him, a discarded S.E. gun. Shuffling forward on his belly, he snatched up the weapon. He checked it was loaded before scrambling to his feet.

Raguna saw the S.E. soldier raise his bloodied weapon, about to strike Zavier again, and he didn't stop to think twice. He lifted the gun and fired. The kickback from the powerful forty-five calibre sent a spear of pain shooting up his arm to his shoulder, but his aim stayed strong, and the S.E. soldier was hit square in the forehead, blowing apart his skull.

As the half-headless body of the S.E. soldier fell to the ground, Raguna dashed to Zavier's side. He was still conscious, and was saying "I'm fine, I'm fine," over and over again, though his clothes were stained a deep red with the blood. Slinging Zavier's arm over his shoulder, Raguna practically dragged him to his feet.

"We're going back to the boat." He told him, shouting above the din. "You're going to be okay, I swear." And he meant it. He wasn't going to let Zavier die. He couldn't bear losing another one...

Zavier's ears were ringing and his sight was fading fast. Already dark spots were forming in front of his eyes. He blinked fiercely, trying to right his vision. His unfocused eyes set on a flaming building. He blinked again, and his sight unclouded for just a second. But a second was all it took to see the skinny arm and the terrified face of a Sech woman, trapped beneath the collapsed wreckage. Though he was partly deafened by the noise, he could still hear her screaming above the explosions.

Then he noticed the face of a much smaller person beside the trapped woman. He could hear crying, frantic shrieking.

There was a child trapped under there.

Zavier looked around, panicking. Surely someone would notice, someone would help them. But The Resistance was already retreating, and the S.E. was nowhere to be seen. Smoke was beginning to billow out from the small gap between the collapsed building, obscuring the faces of the trapped people. The screams were weakening. If someone didn't do something soon, they were going to die.

Zavier looked up at Raguna, who was focused solely on getting him to safety. He hadn't even noticed the trapped villagers. Zavier closed his eyes in frustration, knowing he was about to do something tremendously stupid. And then he thrust himself away from Raguna and practically fell over to the flaming wreckage.

"Don't worry, I'll get you out!"

The two villagers- a woman and a little girl, barely ten years old- started shrieking, obviously thinking he was going to finish them off, but then fell silent as he proceeded to grasp the burning wood in his bloody hands and heave, trying desperately to remove the collapsed roof that was blocking the villagers' escape.

Raguna ran over to Zavier, covering his face with his arm to protect his eyes from the smoke. "Zavier what are you doing?!"

Zavier did not reply. His face contorted with pain as he pulled at the collapsed roof, his whole body shaking under the weight. He was straining his muscles so much that blood began to spill openly from his wound. Raguna's eyes widened.

"Zavier, you'll kill yourself!"

Zavier grimaced in response, forcing himself to nod towards the ground. Raguna looked down, and that was when he saw the villagers, and realised what Zavier was doing. He shouted something Zavier couldn't understand, then grabbed the timbers of the collapsed roof and pulled. Immediately Zavier felt his burden lighten, is only slightly, as Raguna joined him.

"I... don't need... your help..." Zavier gasped, pain shooting through his body. He could feel his consciousness slipping, but he refused to let go of the roof.

"Don't... be stupid..." Raguna replied, his voice straining under the weight. "...Zavier? Zavier!" Raguna began to panic as he heard Zavier retch, and could only watch as his friend's mouth began to bubble with blood.

Zavier tried to cough, but he couldn't, and he was choking on his own blood. Raguna looked on in horror as Zavier's eyes rolled back in his head, on the brink of unconsciousness. Fired with determination, Raguna gave one last heave and lifted the burning timber clean off the ground.

"_Get out! Get out, now!"_

The woman dragged herself, crying and breathless and covered in dirt, from the wreckage, then turning and pulling the girl, who seemed to be her daughter, from under the house. Nodding gratefully at Raguna and Zavier, she ran away into the forest, carrying her daughter in her arms.

Dropping the roof, Raguna only just caught Zavier as his legs crumpled beneath him and he fell to the ground. Holding him around his torso, he dragged him as far away as he could from the burning building before there was a huge explosion. Raguna and Zavier were knocked to the ground by the force, and the wreckage collapsed completely into a burning pile of wood and rubble.

Holding Zavier in his arms, Raguna shook him ineffectively. "Wake up. Wake up!"

Zavier groaned, his head lolling heavily to the side. Raguna shifted in his position, so that his was knelt with Zavier lying across his lap. He turned his head back to face him, cupping his freckled face in his hands.

"Stay awake, Zavier. Stay with me, bro." Raguna ordered. The he laughed, though his eyes were filling with tears. "I sound like you!" He wiped his eyes with the back of his hand, sniffing. He didn't want another person he cared about to die.

Raguna looked around. Members of The Resistance were rushing right past them, retreating. The whole battle had lasted less than half an hour.

"Hey! Stop, please!" Raguna shouted out to them. But no one went back to help. One low ranking soldier turned, and Raguna looked at him with pleading eyes. He saw the young man struggle with himself- before turning and running towards the riverbank and the boat.

Raguna let out a cry of frustration. He turned back to Zavier, who was now unconscious and coughing softly in his slumber, blood pouring from his mouth. Raguna began to breathe very quickly. The whole scene was all too familiar. But this time it was Zavier's blood on his hands.

"Zavier...?" Raguna said softly, not expecting a response. He wiped the blood from his face. Suddenly he was filled with anger- anger at the S.E for doing this to Zavier, and anger at his comrades for leaving them. "Help!" He screamed furiously. "Help!"

"_You! Hey, you!"_

Raguna looked around for the owner of the voice, Whoever it was, they sounded like an adult female, in her twenties or thirties. And they were speaking Sech...

"_Hello?"_ He called out unsurely.

"_Over here!"_ The voice shouted. _"To your right!"_

Raguna looked to his right, and took a moment to look around. At first the area seemed to be devoid of people, only a thick forest, now half-burned away; but then he saw the dirtied face of a woman looking through a bush. She beckoned him over. Uncertain, Raguna pointed to himself.

The woman rolled her eyes. "_Bring him over here, quickly!"_

Raguna faltered at the though of trusted a Sech woman- before he realised how hypocritical he was being, considering his own heritage. He struggled to lift Zavier's body, but as he raised his torso off the ground, he felt the weight of his body lighten as the woman had lifted his legs.

"_Come on!"_ She urged impatiently. "_It's not safe here."_

Raguna blinked at her in disbelief as they carried Zavier into the safety of the thick undergrowth.

"_Follow me." _The woman puffed, adjusting her grip on Zavier's ankles. "_My house isn't far from here .Don't worry, I'll help your friend."_

Raguna finally found his voice. "_Wh-Why are you doing this?"_

The woman shrugged. "_A life for a life."_ She said profoundly, and only then did Raguna recognise her face. She was the woman he and Zavier had freed from the wreckage- he could see her shoulder was bleeding from when the building collapsed on her.

"_Maybe I should carry him."_ Raguna offered, inspecting the state of the woman's arm. The woman simply snorted.

"_Ha! You ought to take a look at yourself."_

Raguna frowned, and looked down at his body, and only then did he realise what pain he was in. He supposed his hadn't noticed because of fear for Zavier and the trapped villagers, but his arms had been burned by the flames, and his jaw and stomach were aching from where he had been punch by the angry young Sech man.

But, looking down at the state of Zavier, Raguna forgot his pain.

"_I'm okay."_ He said.

"_Good." _The woman said. _"My name is Sahra, by the way. And you?"_

"_Raguna."_

The woman nodded in approval. "_A strong name. Thank you, Raguna. You and your friend here saved mine and my daughter's lives." _Her eyes hardened. "_I am a Sech. I am against 'The Resistance'- my husband even more so. You want to overthrow our Empire and our leaders, who only want the best for us."_

Raguna opened his mouth to protest, but Sahra interrupted him. "_Don't try to deny it. I saw you attacking our village. Your Resistance is full of cowards, you target to weak and unarmed..." _She paused. _"But... You and this boy risked your lives to save us. And for that, I am in your debt." _She bowed her head. "_I am willing to trust you, Raguna."_

And for that, at least, Raguna was grateful.

--

**Gah, I can't believe I forgot to put an Author's Note on this chapter! If you hadn't caught on, the parts in which people speak like **_**this **_**they are speaking Sech. I know they are probably supposed to speak the same language, but I liked the idea of a language gap to enforce the 'Them and Us' feeling in the armies.**

**Reviews inspire me! Tell me what you think- I'd love to know your opinions and your critique!**


	3. Sahra, Sachery and Cobi

Sahra's house was more of a hut than a house, made of little more than a few logs balanced carefully against each other, and covered by thatched straw. But it was more of a home than anything Raguna had seen in the past year. Inside it was small, but cosy, and smelled deliciously of spices. They didn't have a real floor, just the dusty ground, but it was covered by a hand-made rug, on which Sahra's daughter was playing, her eyes still red from crying.

Sahra had a big argument with her husband over letting two Resistance soldiers into their home. He was at least ten years older than she, and obviously had old-fashioned values. He called her a traitor, and said that she had killed her family, and she slapped his face and shouted about how they owed Raguna their daughter's life. Then she bustled Zavier away into a spare bedroom, leaving her husband, her daughter, and Raguna in the living room.

Raguna wanted to go with Zavier. He wanted to take off his helmet and brush the dirt from his unruly hair, to help remove his bloody clothes and wash his wounds, and hold his bony hand while Sahra stitched up the gaping hole in his side; but Sahra wouldn't let him. She said he would distract her, so he had to stay outside.

Raguna sat on a rickety stool, hugging his knees to his chest. He had washed in the stream behind Sahra's house. The water had felt cool and good on his burns, but he hadn't been able to enjoy it. Zavier had been unconscious for a long time, and he was worried. Worried that he would never wake up.

He felt a small tug on his sleeve, and he turned to see the little girl looking up at him with kind brown eyes and a gap-toothed grin.

"_Don't worry sir. Mummy used to be a doctor before we left the city. She'll help your friend, definitely!" _She said reassuringly.

Ragina smiled half-heartedly. "_That's good to know."_ He said. "_How are you feeling? I mean, you were trapped, weren't you?"_

"_Yeah," _the girl said. _"I'm okay though. I'm a big girl now. My name's Cobi, by the way." _She added primly, holding out her hand and raising her nose in the air, trying to appear grow-up.

Raguna chuckled and shook her hand. "_My name's Raguna. It's very nice to meet you, Miss Cobi."_

Cobi giggled delightedly, fidgeting with her dress. "_Daddy says you're a bad man, but I don't believe him. I like you very much." _She smiled. "_Don't worry about Daddy. He's been in a bad mood ever since we left the city. He says it's The Rester's fault."_

"_You used to live in the city?"_

"_Yeah, but we were moved out here because the bog people said so. They said it was so we could be safe. It's not very safe here at all though, I don't think." _Cobi said.

Raguna nodded. "_Yeah. I think you're right."_

"_Cobi!" _A voice rang out sharply, and Cobi's father marched in from the kitchen. "_Get away from there. I don't want you talking with him."_

Cobi pouted. _"But Dad-dy!" _She wailed.

"_She wasn't doing anything wrong." _Raguna said in her defence. Her father's eyes widened.

"_You speak Sech?" _He asked suspiciously.

Raguna nodded. "_Yes, sir. I used to be in the Sech army, a long time ago before... I used to be in the Sech army." _He shrugged nonchalantly.

Cobi's father raised his eyebrows. He said nothing, but then he turned and went back into the kitchen, leaving Raguna alone with Cobi.

--

Raguna drifted in and out of himself for a time, as if in a dream. He didn't move from that stool by the door of the bedroom, not even when it got dark and Sahra and her family went to sleep. He stayed sat there, perfectly still, for a long time, watching Sahra scurry in and out of the bedroom in which Zavier lay. He didn't come to his senses until Sahra said:

"_He's awake."_

Raguna blinked, not quite able to take in the news. Then, slowly, he got up. His legs were shaking under his weight; he had not moved them in so long. He wandered into the bedroom, still half-dreaming.

Zavier was lying on a straw mattress on the floor. He looked so small, laying there, his chest and hand covered by blood-stained bandages. He was completely still, save for the steady rise and fall of his bare chest as he breathed. But at least he _was_ breathing.

Staggering over to the mattress, Raguna fell to his knees beside his friend.

"...Zavier?" He hardly dared blink should he disappear right before his eyes. He held on to Zavier's one hand that wasn't bandaged, running his thumb over his knuckles. "Zavier, it's me. Raguna."

Zavier groaned. "I know who you are..." He grumbled hoarsely. "I've been awake... long enough..." His voice was croaky and impossibly quiet, but it was the most wonderful sound Raguna had heard in ages.

Raguna held Zavier's hand up to his cheek, smiling against his palm. He could feel a lump rising in his throat, and he knew he was going to cry again. Raguna always used to cry whenever he got emotional, but after what happened a year ago, he just... stopped. How strange it was that Zavier would be the one to wet his eyes again.

"You scared me." Raguna whispered. Zavier laughed breathily in response.

"_Is he okay?" _Cobi piped up, poking her head around the doorway. Raguna nodded, and Cobi shuffled shyly into the room. She knelt down beside Raguna, staring wide-eyed at Zavier, a little afraid of the clearly visible blood. Then she leaned over and hugged Zavier. Raguna saw Zavier wince in pain as Cobi squeezed her arms around his neck, but he raised his hand to pat her shoulder uncertainly.

"_Thank you very much for saving me." _Cobi said sincerely.

Zavier blinked.

"She said thanks for saving her." Raguna supplied upon seeing the baffled look on Zavier's face.

"You understand her?"

Raguna nodded. "Yeah. I used to be in the Sech army, you know. I didn't know I spoke the language until I joined The Resistance, though..."

Zavier sighed exasperatedly- then coughed. Cobi sat back, frowning. She laid a hand on Zavier's forehead experimentally.

"_Oh dear." _She said. "_He must have a fever. Don't worry! I'll be the nurse, so you have nothing to worry about. Okay, _Rag-na_?"_

Raguna began to smile. "_Okay then, Cobi. You take good care of him!"_

All the time Cobi and Raguna had been talking, Zavier had been watching them, and growing more and more worried with each word.

"Raguna..." He dared to ask. "What did she say...?"

"Oh, she says you're ill, so she's going to be the nurse and look after you. I guess I'll just leave her to it, then." Raguna said, struggling not to laugh at the horrified look on Zavier's face.

"Raguna, don't you dare..." Zavier said warningly as Raguna got up and walked toward the door. "Don't you dare leave me alone with her... Are you listening to me, I said- no, no, wait, Raguna!"

"See you later, Zavier." Raguna smiled sweetly. Turning to Cobi, he added "_If he misbehaves, just pinch his ear. It always works." _And Cobi giggled.

"Raguna, what did you tell her? Raguna, hey!" Zavier's voice caught in his throat as he began to shout, and he broke into a coughing fit. Cobi tutted and patted him on the back in what she thought was a helpful manner, though it caused Zavier to yelp in pain.

Raguna shrugged, grinning sheepishly at Zavier, who was now glaring at him. He didn't know whether to laugh or feel sorry for him. Maybe he could do both...? Ignoring Zavier's pleas of 'Help me!' he turned and walked out of the room, feeling like a huge weight had been lifted from his shoulders.

Zavier was going to be okay.

--

Zavier was at his wit's end. His side was aching uncomfortably, and every time he moved it caused a sharp pang of pain so that he couldn't forget about it. His whole body was sapped of its strength- it had taken a tremendous amount of effort just to sit up, so there was no chance of him being able to _stand_, let alone walk. His throat was sore, and his mouth as dry as Mars, and though he needed to cough, every time he did so it felt as if his chest was about to come apart. Every time he tried to talk he felt as if his throat was being painfully grated, which proved to be a large problem for someone as talkative as Zavier.

And on top of all that, he'd been forced to put up with a hyperactive ten-year-old pestering him all day.

"Zav-yah!"

He grumbled under his breath as Cobi bounced happily into the room. Flopping down on the mattress- and almost breaking his legs at the same time- she happily held out a bowl of something that looked like it used to be rice. Then she said something he couldn't understand.

"Uh... What?" Zavier tilted his head to one side confusedly.

Cobi practically thrust the bowl under his nose, and Zavier raised his one good hand to push her away. She scowled at him, sticking her bottom lip out. Zavier sighed and shrugged at her.

Cobi rolled her eyes. Then she picked up the chopsticks from the bowl and popped some of the sloppy rice into her mouth, making exaggerated 'mmm' noises and smiling encouragingly. Then she held the bowl out to Zavier.

Up until that point, Zavier had been feeling quite hungry, but one look at the grey swill that was sloshing about in the bottom of the bowl and he completely lost his appetite.

"No thanks," he said hoarsely, pushing the bowl away. Cobi puffed out her cheeks in frustration and, setting the bowl down on her lap, proceeded to pinch Zavier's ear between her sharp forefinger and thumb.

"Ow! Hey- ow! Get off!" Zavier swatted her away with his uninjured left hand and rubbed his scarlet ear, annoyed. Cobi 'hmph'd' in a satisfied way and held out the bowl again. Begrudgingly, Zavier took it in his hand and set it down on his knee. Using his left hand, he swirled the slop around with one chopstick, a disgusted look on his face. Cobi clapped her hands impatiently.

Rolling his eyes, Zavier tried to pick up the chopsticks- and immediately dropped them as a stabbing pain shot through his hand. He hissed and held his right hand in his left, fresh redness spreading over the bandages, already blackened with dried blood.

Biting his lip, Zavier picked up the chopsticks with his left hand. But, being right-handed and not overly experienced in using chopsticks anyway, he dropped them again. He swore violently. Then he looked worriedly at Cobi- but then he remembered she could not understand him, and he relaxed.

Cobi frowned at Zavier's obvious inability to hold the chopsticks. Then she leaned over and took the bowl herself. She picked up the chopsticks and expertly scooped up some of the overcooked rice between them. Then she held the rice out to Zavier, hovering the food right in front of his nose.

"Ahhh..." She urged impatiently, prodding his lip with the end of the chopsticks.

Zavier stared down at the chopsticks for a second before raising his hand and moving them away from his mouth. He was twenty-two years old, and he did _not _need to be fed like a baby!

Cobi was unwilling to give up, however and she sprung the rice back up to his mouth. Zavier squeezed his lips tightly together in protest. After at least half a minute of still silence, each side too proud to give in to the other, Cobi reached out with her free hand and pinched Zavier's ear again.

"Ow-!" Zavier's yelp was cut off, as Cobi popped the rice into his mouth as soon as he opened it to shout. Cobi giggled happily as Zavier scowled, chewing and swallowing grumpily.

Looking very pleased with herself indeed, Cobi plucked some more rice out of the bowl and held it out to him. Looking at the rice, and then at the full bowl, Zavier sighed inwardly. This was going to be a long day.

--

Raguna was on his way to the fields with Sahra's husband. As he used to be a farmer, he had volunteered his experience to Sahra in return for her help. Sahra had accepted his help graciously, but her husband seemed less than keen on the idea.

"_So... you're a farmer?" _Raguna asked uncertainly, trying in vain to make conversation.

Sahra's husband wrinkled his nose, waggling his thick moustache in disdain, as if Raguna smelled bad. _"No. I'm not a farmer. I am a teacher, forced to take on the role of a farmer by the like of YOU," _he pointed accusingly at Raguna with his hoe.

"_Me, sir?" _Raguna asked innocently.

"_People like you, who oppose the Empire's rightful place as supreme." _Sahra's husband went on. "_It is because of you that my wife and I were forced to leave our jobs and our home and move HERE," _he waved his hands in the air dramatically, gesturing to the thick jungle, "_to the middle of nowhere!"_

Raguna frowned, feeling more than a little insulted. "_I'm sorry sir, but... I don't see how that is our fault. It was your own leaders that decided to move you here, after all."_

Sahra's husband shot Raguna such a look of disgust and contempt that Raguna actually flinched. "_They moved us here to keep up safe! Safe from Resistance attacks."_

"_But..." _Raguna struggled to comprehend with the man's way of thinking. Surely he could see that it was far from safe, living in the forest? The forest was what the Sech Empire was out to destroy, along with anyone who happened to be in the way. The cities were the safe places- the Sech Empire would protect them, and The Resistance had no intention of venturing into territory in which they would be sniffed out and slaughtered in less than ten minutes.

"_Your friend deserved what he got." _Said Sahra's husband coldly.

Raguna was suddenly uncharacteristically angry. "_No. No, he didn't. You take that back!" _Then his eyes widened at his own insolence as he realised what he had just said. "_I'm sorry, sir... I didn't mean..."_

"_You used to be in the Sech Army." _Sahra's husband interrupted. _"Why did you betray them?"_

Raguna fell silent. He lowered his head. "_...They hurt me." _He said eventually. "_They took two things that were very precious to me, and... That was why I joined The Resistance. I know it must be hard for you to understand."_

"_What did they take that was so important that you would betray your own people?" _Sahra's husband spat.

"_...I had a wife, once, sir." _Raguna said quietly. _"And a daughter. Just like you." _He didn't say anymore. He couldn't. Though it had been over a year since it had happened, it still hurt to talk about them.

For the first time, Sahra's husband looked at Raguna properly- as a person. Raguna could feel his intense stare scanning him up and down. He didn't look back at him- he didn't need to.

"_I don't believe I ever introduced myself." _Sahra's husband said eventually. "_I'm Sachery." _And after a moment of thought in which he appeared to struggle with himself, he held out his hand for Raguna to shake.

Raguna smiled. "_Raguna, sir."_

--

Sachery's fellow field workers didn't take too kindly to having Raguna work alongside them. Though he had the typical dark brown hair and tall stature of the Sech people, he was still wearing his Resistance uniform, and stuck out like a sore thumb. His arrival had caused a huge uproar, and one man had actually slapped his face, screaming that he had killed his cousin.

Raguna hadn't hit back, so the man had struck him again, and the riling crowd looked like they were ready to jump into the fray and tear him limb from limb at any second. At first it looked like Sachery would condone this violence, but then he shouted and shooed his friends away from Raguna.

"_Listen to me!"_ He roared over the shouting workers. "_This is Raguna. He saved my wife and daughter from being burned alive in the battle two days ago. He risked his life for them!"_

The crowd fell silent in disbelief. The one man shouted.

"_You've been brainwashed!"_

Sachery's eyes immediately flamed, and he grabbed the man by his collar. "_You think I would be indoctrinated?!" _He bellowed furiously in his face. Throwing the man away from his, he shouted. "_I hate The Resistance! But not this man." _He voice softened and he march up to Raguna. "_This man who saved my family. The Resistance, I despise, but this man... I am proud to call him my brother." _And Sachery laid his large hand on Raguna's shoulder protectively and stared out over the crowd, as if daring them to object.

"_Now let's get on with our work." _Sachery said quietly, cutting through the silence.

Ten minutes into ploughing the five acre field, it was obvious that Raguna was by far the most skilled farmer there- not that this surprised him, as most of the other workers were at least ten years older than him, and from what Sachery had told him, he gathered that the men were not trained as farmers. When work had begun he had been soaring ahead the others, wielding the hoe expertly as he struck the ground with the grace of a swordsman- but then he realised that surpassing the Sechs at their own duties may not be the politest thing to do, and he modestly slowed down.

After a while someone tried talking to him, and the men were surprised that he could speak Sech. He told them of his time in the Empire, and his reasons for leaving and fighting against it. And all the time the men listened quietly, only ever speaking to ask a question. And though they would sneer and scorn Raguna's reasoning, every worker there- though they would never admit it- returned home changed men.

--

**Don't worry; there will be a bit of romance next chapter! I promise! I just want to set the scene right now- I think pace is important to keep things believable. I'd like to know what you thought of it, so if you have any criticism, or just want to make a general comment, please review!**


	4. Learning to Walk

Raguna almost laughed out loud in disbelief at the scene that lay before his eyes when he returned from the fields. Cobi, sat on Zavier's lap, carefully threading daisies into a long chain- she already wore a necklace of them- and Zavier... plaiting her hair? And quite skilfully too, his fingers gently separating thick locks of hair and winding them together, circling around her head, forming a sort of crown, with her black hair hanging loose at the back. Zavier had even woven daisies into the plaits, giving Cobi the look of a pixie. Both were smiling and chatting, even though each had no idea what the other was saying.

Raguna, stood at the doorway, cleared his throat loudly. Zavier looked up- and turned bright red when he saw Raguna staring at him, one eyebrow raised in disbelief.

"Not one word, Raguna. Not one damn word." He hissed threateningly, hurriedly fixing Cobi's hairstyle in place with an elastic band and pulling off the daisy chain that hung over his head.

It was difficult to look threatening when you were sat in bed, bruised and bandaged and plaiting a little girl's hair. Raguna strode over to the mattress and knelt down beside it. "_Hey, Cobi. That's a very grown-up hairstyle you have there."_

Cobi practically glowed with delight. "_It is, isn't it? _Zav-yah _did it for me, and I love it, love it, love it! Don't I look like a princess? A fairy princess!"_

Raguna laughed. "_You certainly do."_

"_I love _Zav-yah!" Cobi fawned happily. She turned and gave Zavier a big hug. "_Thank you for my lovely hairstyle."_

Zavier laughed uncertainly and gently pushed Cobi off him, still embarrassed. "Uh, what did she say, Raguna?" He asked.

Raguna grinned. "She says she loves you!"

Zavier's face blanked in surprise. "Oh. Right." He said.

Cobi jerked her head up from Zavier's shoulder suddenly, beaming. "_I know!"_ She leapt up off the mattress, causing Zavier to curse in pain as she trod on him. "_I'll go and put on my new dress! Mummy made it for me, and it's red. Then I'll REALLY be the princess!" _And she trotted out of the room.

Raguna and Zavier sat in silence for a few second. Raguna shifted so that he sat comfortably, instead of propped up on his knees. He smiled at Zavier. "Man of many talents, eh Zavier?" He said, nodding in the direction Cobi had run. Zavier scowled.

"Yeah, well, I used to do Tori's hair when we were kids, so..." He pouted, folding his arms and looking away. He looked like a sulky little kid forced to eat his vegetables. It was sort of cute.

"What about your Mum?" Raguna questioned.

"Tori was real sensitive. She said Mum pulled too much when she brushed, so..." Zavier shrugged, trailing off vaguely. Raguna would've found it hard to believe that Zavier could ever do anything gently if he hadn't just seen him brushing Cobi's hair so carefully.

Taking the opportunity to tease Zavier a little more, Raguna asked "Don't tell me you did her nails too?" And just like that, Zavier's face whooshed bright scarlet. A small smile spread across Raguna's face as realization dawned on him.

"You _did?" _He asked, grinning. It wasn't in his nature to tease people, but with Zavier it was hard to resist the urge to. And it wasn't as if Zavier never got him back for it. Raguna started to laugh.

"Shut up! Shut up!" Zavier shouted furiously, his cheeks unmistakeably fiery red. "I hate you! So what if I did? I don't care," though the look on his face told Raguna that he _did _care quite a lot.

"I'm only joking." Raguna said innocently, blinking his big puppy dog eyes. Zavier swore at him, knowing that he wouldn't be able to continue his rant at Raguna without feeling terribly guilty after he'd looked at him like that.

Suddenly the doorframe creaked, and Raguna turned to see Sahra bustling into the room, followed by Cobi, who was skipping lightly, making her mother seem awfully heavy in comparison.

"_Look, _Rag-na! _Do you like my dress?" _Cobi twirled around, holding out the hem of her dress to show it off. It was hand-made, and not red but many different shades of red, varying from deep maroon to pink, as it was crafted from different rags sewn together. It was shapeless and sewn by an obviously inexperienced hand, and the strappy sleeves were too big and kept slipping down her shoulders, but it was obvious that to Cobi, it was the most beautiful dress in the whole world.

"_I like your dress very much, Cobi." _Raguna said, smiling down at her. "_It really suits you."_

"Zav-yah?" Cobi turned to Zavier, tugging at her dress. "_Do you like it?"_

Raguna translated this, and Zavier grinned and gave Cobi a thumbs up sign. Sahra shook her head.

"_You shouldn't encourage her. That's her best dress." _She said sternly. "_She'll have it ruined in five minutes."_

"_I won't!" _Cobi retorted sulkily. She spun around again, twirling like a ballerina, her shiny black hair streaking out behind her. At that moment, she really did bear a stunning likeness to a fairy. Raguna could almost see the wings sprouting from her back.

Sahra shook her head, smiling. "_Yes, well, you'd better be off now, missus. Mummy's got some doctor work to do." _She said, patting Cobi on the head as she spun out of the room.

"_I have to change your stitches, or your wound will get infected." _Sahra told Zavier directly. "_I won't lie to you, this is going to hurt."_

Zavier look up at Raguna for help. Raguna swallowed, wondering how he could manipulate Sahra's words so that they sounded less... menacing. "She's going to change your stitches." He finally settled on. In this case, it was better Zavier didn't know what he was in for.

"My... stitches?" Zavier looked down at his injured right side confusedly. He quickly pulled the sheets over his chest protectively. "No." He refused.

"She says it's to stop your wound getting infected." Raguna said.

Zavier shook his head. "No." He said. And Sahra smacked him.

"Ow!" Zavier rubbed the back of his head in annoyance. "What the hell was that for?"

"_You will have these stitches young man!" _Sahra shouted viciously. Raguna's eyes widened. Scary! He was glad _he _wasn't the one under Sahra's knife. Zavier couldn't understand what Sahra was saying, but he could definitely understand her tone of voice, and he looked visibly shaken.

Swallowing, he lowered the sheets from his chest.

And despite what Raguna would one day recall, he did _not _wince as Sahra peeled off his bandages, he did _not _squeak in shock as the cold air hit his wound, the blood did _not _drain from his face as Sahra produced a large sharp needle from her sleeve, he did _not _hold tightly onto Raguna's hand as the needle bit painfully through his flesh, and he most certainly did _not _have to bite his lip until it bled to stop himself from bursting into tears throughout.

"_Good boy." _Sahra announced, splitting the thread and patting Zavier on the head in an infuriatingly patronizing way. Zavier shook his head, willing her away. Sahra rolled her eyes. "_Tell that puppy to buck his ideas up!" _She said to Raguna, and Raguna went pink and laughed nervously, casting unsure glances at Zavier, who was growing increasingly suspicious.

Sahra left the room and Raguna turned back to Zavier, who was glaring at him.

"What did she say?" He snapped, rubbing his side.

"Uh... Nothing." Raguna said, scratching the back of his neck. Zavier shot him a look that told him he wasn't buying it and Raguna just laughed nervously.

Zavier sighed. "This sucks." He said sulkily. "I've got a headache and my side hurts and I need to pee and... and I want to go home. I want to see my sis." He lowered his eyes, ashamed, and Raguna felt slightly guilty having reminded Zavier of his sister.

"I'm getting up." Zavier announced suddenly. "I gotta go to the toilet." He lifted himself slightly off the mattress- then immediately fell back down, inhaling sharply as a dagger of pain shot past his ribs.

Raguna smiled sympathetically. "I'll help you." He said, offering Zavier his hand. Zavier batted it away.

"I don't _need _your _help."_ He snapped. Raguna sighed exasperatedly and slung Zavier's arm around his shoulder, ignoring his cries of protest. Hauling Zavier to his feet, Zavier tried to push him away- though in his weakened state, only ended up pushing _himself _back. He stumbled, as if shocked by his own weight, and collapsed against the wall, struggling to support himself.

Raguna tried to take his arm again, but was met with a punch to the shoulder. He shook his head. Zavier was a law unto his foolish pride, as usual.

Zavier was biting his tongue in anticipation, not quite daring to let go of the wall, but not wanting to stay there shaking like a leaf either. His legs felt terribly weak, and he could feel his weight pushing down on him like a ton of bricks. The floor felt too dense under his feet, as if both the sky and ground were putting pressure on him until he succumbed to their harshness. Gulping, He pushed himself away from the wall, outstretching his arms to keep his balance. He could feel the blood rushing round his head, and he felt dizzy. He leaned back against the wall, glaring into the bare wood.

"Don't help me." He muttered to Raguna.

Raguna sighed. He outstretched his hand toward Zavier. Zavier eyed it warily.

"I'm not going to help you. I'm going to show you to the bathroom." Raguna assured. Zavier hesitated for a moment, before begrudgingly taking Raguna's hand and staggering away from the wall, very nearly falling on him. Steadying himself, Zavier narrowed his eyes at Raguna.

"It's not like I need you to do this." He said, though Raguna had to stiffen his arms as Zavier's weight leant heavily against him, and he could feel his hands shaking as he held him.

"I know." Raguna said. "But I don't mind." Zavier scowled at him.

Raguna assisted Zavier as he took his first few shaky steps. It was as if he was learning to walk all over again, and Zavier was certainly not happy about it. His face was flushed and he kept muttering under his breath in annoyance.

"I'm not a baby... God, this is so humiliating..."

Though his red cheeks, sandy freckles, feathery hair, scowl and pout made him look younger than ever, and Raguna couldn't help laughing a little. Zavier was filled with anger, eyes flaming.

"Are you laughing at me?" He demanded.

"N-No." Raguna spluttered, though he _was, _and Zavier knew it. Pulling his hands away, his pride at an absolute low, Zavier tried in vain to march away- but just ended up in a heap on the floor.

"Z-Zavier!" Raguna cried, rushing to his side. "Are you all right? Did you hurt yourself? Did you-" He was cut off by Zavier's good left hand punching feebly at him.

"Stop it!" He shouted. It meant to sound threatening, but it came out like a plead. He cursed himself loudly. "_Shit!"_

Raguna just smiled sheepishly, taking Zavier's arm and helping him to his feet. Zavier did not smile back, but nor did he protest when Raguna went to help him. He let Raguna pull him up.

Then he glared at him suddenly. "You ass! I'm gonna pee myself in a minute! Hurry up and show me where the bathroom is." He snapped, though the edge faded from his voice as he neared the end of his sentence, and he was smiling too.

Raguna grinned as he took Zavier's hands again. He tried to sling his arm around his shoulders to carry him there, but Zavier wasn't having any of it. He was _not _some pathetic baby, and he could walk perfectly well by himself, thank you very much. Though maybe he should hold onto Raguna just to be on the safe side...

It took them fifteen minutes to reach the bathroom, which was less than twenty feet away outside. And, to Zavier's immense embarrassment, by the time they reached it the toilet was somewhat unneeded.

--

**Okay, perhaps I'd better stop torturing Zavier now... Oh, just one more chapter! I can give it up any time I want, really...**


	5. Setting Out

Zavier practiced walking every day after that, determined to get back to health as soon as possible. His whole body shook, and beads of sweat formed on his brow from the effort, but he refused to hang onto anything for support, and he would not let himself give in.

And all this time, Raguna would be stood patiently at the side of the room, watching Zavier, never speaking, never offering to help- but whenever Zavier's strength failed him and caused him to fall, Raguna would always be there to catch him. And sometimes, Raguna found himself holding onto Zavier a little longer than he needed to. It was hard to explain, but... it felt nice, holding him, being held by him. It made Raguna feel just that little bit less lonely.

Within a week, sure enough, Zavier was able to walk around with relative ease. His body still felt uncomfortably heavy, but he could control his shaking muscles and never fell once (though Raguna would still insist on hovering around him, just in case). Sahra would smack him and tell him to get back to bed, he needed his rest. Zavier would just grin cheekily and say 'Sorry, I don't understand you.'

"Hey, Raguna, I was thinking..." Zavier said over breakfast one day. "Maybe we should be getting back to the others. Y'know, our platoon. I mean..." Zavier trailed off as realisation hit him. His eyes grew wide. "Raguna... where _are_ the others?"

Raguna sighed, setting his bowl down on his lap. He hadn't really wanted to tell Zavier. "They're gone, Zav. They... We were meant to retreat back to the boats, but you were injured. I didn't want to leave you, so... We'd have been in big trouble if Sahra hadn't come along and help us."

"Oh..." Zavier murmured. Then he seemed to stop breathing for a second, and fear took over his face. "Raguna... _where are we going to go?"_

Raguna bit his lip. That exact worry had been eating him away the past few days, and up until now he had managed to push it to the back of his mind, pretending it wasn't an issue. Having Zavier bring it to the surface forced him to accept the truth. "I... I don't know. There's a Resistance camp in the area... but we don't have boat, so we can't take the rivers, and on foot it's over a week away, and that's if we walk all day. In our Resistance uniforms, we'll be obvious to any Sech soldiers..." He swallowed, only just comprehending with the severity of the situation.

Zavier sighed exasperatedly. "So, basically we're screwed." He said. Looking at Raguna hopefully, he asked "Do we have any way of contacting them?"

Raguna shook his head. Zavier frowned and crammed the rest of his food into his mouth. "Great." He said, his voice muffled and his cheeks bulging.

"So," he said, swallowing his mouthful, "what are we gonna do?"

Raguna shrugged. "We don't really have a choice. We'll have to try to make it to the camp."

Zavier almost choked up the food he had just eaten. "_What?! _We'll be sitting ducks! Why not just paint targets on our foreheads as well? I lost my gun, y'know."

Raguna shook his head defeatedly. "I know, I know, but we don't have much of a choice. We can't stay here forever. Sahra's food supplies are low as it is, without us being here." He muttered. He paused. "If we keep to the forests, we'll be okay. It'll take us longer, but we'll be protected. We know the earth; and the Sech army are all from big cities. They won't know their way around forests like we do. We could make it to the camp in about two weeks. We could make it. We could..." Raguna trailed off into silence, nodding his head, and Zavier was unsure of whether he was trying to convince him or himself.

"You sure about this?" Zavier asked.

"No. But we don't have much of a choice." Raguna answered glumly. He hung his head, wanting to do more but unable to. Zavier smiled half-heartedly. He shifted closer to Raguna.

"So..." He said. "When do we leave?"

--

The next morning Raguna and Zavier were up well before dawn. Raguna had already packed the necessary contents of Zavier's rucksack into his own- Zavier was still injured, and Raguna didn't want him to strain himself. Sahra had insisted on giving them some food supplies, despite Raguna protests, and she had forced her Sachery and Cobi to get up early to bid them farewell. Cobi was yawning and whining to herself in her tiredness.

"_You're sure you'll be all right?" _Sahra asked as the five of them gathered just outside her house to say their goodbyes. She handed Raguna a small package of white cloth. "_Here. Make sure your friend changes his bandages every two days until you reach your comrades. He'll also need to change his stitches in a few days to stop his skin healing over them." _Raguna nodded, inwardly dreading Zavier's reaction to this news.

Sachery cleared his throat loudly, looking over his shoulder, as if embarrassed by the whole situation. Then he held out his hand. Raguna shook it, followed by Zavier. Sachery gave the Sech salute, and Raguna the Resistance one. Cobi started to sniffle, and Zavier knelt down to her level.

"Hey, hey, what's wrong?" He asked comfortingly, wiping her wet cheeks with the pad of his thumb. Cobi giggled- then burst into noisy tears.

"_I don't want you to go!" _She wailed, flinging herself onto Zavier, holding onto him as if her life depended on it. "_I love you, Zav-yah. And Rag-na. Take me with you, please!" _She sobbed into Zavier's shoulder as her parents could only watch awkwardly. Zavier gave Raguna a desperate glance, and Raguna took pity on him and gently unhinged Cobi's skinny arms from around his neck.

"_Now, Cobi, you know we can't do that. Where me and Zavier are going, it's very dangerous. You wouldn't like it. And besides," _He raised Cobi's chin to look at him. "_You can't leave your Mummy and Daddy here all alone with no one to look after them, could you?" _Cobi smiled through her tears and shook her head.

Raguna grinned at her. _"Then you be a good, big girl and stay here, all right? And be careful to keep that dress clean!"_

Cobi dried her eyes, nodding. She outstretched her arms to Raguna sadly, and Raguna, taking the hint, hugged her. He closed his eyes, letting his mind haze over so that all he could focus on was Cobi, holding her tiny body protectively in his arms, feeling her soft hair against his cheek, tickling his nose. For a second Raguna let himself pretend, let himself travel back in time and imagine that this little girl was his own.

"Poppy..."

Cobi pulled away. "_What did you say?"_

Raguna blinked, coming to his senses. "Uh, nothing..." He cleared his throat. "_Nothing. You... you keep yourself safe, okay, Cobi?"_

Cobi beamed, and Zavier ruffled her black hair, smiling down at her fondly. Despite all she had put him through the last week and a half, she was a good kid, and Zavier had grown to like her.

Sahra leaned up and kissed Raguna's cheeks. Then she kissed Zavier; though, like a little kid, he wiped his face quickly afterwards. Raguna bowed his head humbly.

"_Thank you for your hospitality." _He said politely.

Sahra laughed. "_Nonsense! It was the least we could do... you saved my daughter, Raguna, and so, I saved your friend. A life for a life."_ She took his hands in hers and smiled gratefully up at him. "_Goodbye, Raguna. And good luck."_

--

The midday sun was high in the sky, beating mercilessly down on the forest. The thick greenery provided a refreshing blanket of shade, though the air was moist with humidity and buzzing with mosquitoes. Raguna and Zavier had been walking since dawn, and both were soaked with sweat, heads swimming and feet aching and thoroughly exhausted.

"Perhaps we ought to set up camp." Raguna suggested, boots pounding tiredly on the carpet of leaves. "Zavier?" He turned around, but Zavier was nowhere to be seen. Panic dashing through him, Raguna quickly retraced his path. "Zavier?"

Zavier was stumbling through the undergrowth, holding his side, a pained frown on his face. Raguna breathed a sigh of relief when he saw him. This relief was quickly replaced with guilt- he had almost forgotten that Zavier was still injured, and obviously couldn't walk as fast as Raguna, who had just been striding ahead without a care.

Jogging over to Zavier's side, Raguna tried to take his arm to help him straighten up, but Zavier pushed him away, snapping "Get off me, get off, I'm _fine." _Then he doubled over, clutching his ribs and hissing in pain. Raguna frowned sympathetically.

"Do you want me to carry you?" He asked. Zavier's eyes suddenly sparked, and he shot Raguna such a glare that he actually flinched.

"Don't even joke about that." He spat. Raguna just shrugged innocently, though he hadn't been joking at all.

"Well, I was saying we should set up camp anyway." Raguna said, slinging off his backpack from around his shoulder. "I found a clearing over there where we can pitch the tent."

Zavier insisted on helping set up the tent, kindling the fire to cook the rice that Sahra gave them and fetching the water from a nearby stream. Because of this, the whole process took twice as long as it would have had Raguna done it alone. But Raguna wouldn't have had it any other way.

Raguna sighed as he took the pot of rice off the fire and began to divide it between two wooden bowls. Sahra had given them enough rice to last them at least three days- what must've been over half her food supply. And Sachery had to share the rice he grew with his workmates, so they were unlikely to get much more that week. Raguna wondered why he hadn't realised this before. If he had, he would've given some back for sure.

"Here," he muttered, handing one of the bowls of rice to Zavier, who was sat opposite him on the other side of the dying fire. Zavier took it in silence. Raguna sighed. "What are we doing here, Zavier?"

Zavier made a questioning noise, his mouth half-full.

"What are we here for? I mean..." Raguna waved his chopsticks vaguely, searching for the right words. "We're here to defeat the Sechs, right? But, really, the Sechs... they're just like us. Sahra, Sachery... Cobi... I don't want to hurt them, Zav."

Zavier just looked at Raguna in silence. The look on his face told Raguna he was listening, thinking about what he was saying. "I don't want to hurt them either." He said.

"The people we're killing aren't our enemies. The Sech army are just being used, played with like pawns in the politicians little chess game... I know. I was one of them." Raguna's voice faded to a whisper towards the end of his sentence. He jerked his head up suddenly. "This is always how it is. The poor man fighting the rich man's war. It isn't right. We're here to make a difference, but if we carry on how we are, what difference is that going to make? All we're doing is chipping away uselessly at the edges... I can't stand it, Zavier."

Zavier swallowed his rice. Leaning forward to Raguna, he asked "Then why do you do it?"

Raguna raised his eyes to meet Zavier's, and a deathly silence fell upon the two of them. For almost a minute they just looked at each other, eyes locked, each wanting to break the awkward silence, but neither daring to. Then, Zavier whispered "It's Mist."

Raguna sighed, half laughing- though it was an empty, soulless laugh. He leant back, looking up. Between the thick leaves that smothered the forest, the sky was reddening to evening. Raguna smiled sadly. "Is that what you think?"

Zavier nodded. "Isn't it?"

Raguna sat back up properly to look at Zavier. "No. It's not." He said. He paused. "...A-After she... died, I realised that this war wasn't over, that people were still dying over this land... And I thought about how many other wives were dying. How many brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers... And I thought about their families. I didn't want anyone else to go through the pain of losing someone like that. So I... I joined The Resistance. I thought I could save people from that pain. I thought I could stop the hurting. Stupid, isn't it?" He let out a small chuckle. A small tear had escaped his eye and slid down his cheek, but he was ignoring it, and Zavier didn't like to mention it, if only for the fact that it was a little frightening to acknowledge that Raguna was so sad.

Zavier started to laugh bitterly. "You're so damn _good, _Raguna." He laughed, sounding as though the words tasted bad in his mouth. "You're such a good guy. It kinda pisses me off, how good you are." He shifted his legs underneath him, flopping down on the ground so that he was lying on his side. "I'm not like you, you know. I'm selfish. I loved Mist, you know I did. And she died because of the Sechs, and I... I wanted to make them hurt the way she had. The way _I _was hurting." He huffed grumpily, swivelling round so that he was lying on his back. "That was why I..."

Raguna smiled a little. "Then why did you wait nearly a year after she... After that time to join The Resistance?"

Zavier frowned. "Well, obviously because you joined up!" He said. "I was thinking about it for a long time, but I never had any real intention of doing it... But then you joined up, and I thought: why not? I wanted to prove that... I loved her just as much as you did... Anyway, I needed to keep an eye on you."

"Why?"

Zavier sat up, scowling at Raguna. "Why the interrogation?" Ha scoffed.

"I want to know."

Zavier frowned and looked away, as if a little embarrassed. "Well... Even though you had Mist, you were still my friend!" He snapped angrily. "After she died, you kind of, just... stopped caring. About everything. We all noticed it. You were always so emotional, and then suddenly you... weren't. When you joined The Resistance, I... You didn't care about yourself, you'd put yourself in danger, you'd _die..._ Maybe that was what you wanted... But it wasn't what _I _wanted. I joined up because... well, I didn't want you to die, okay? You say you wanna save other people, well, whose gonna save _you?" _Zavier gave a little nod, gesturing subtly to himself.

Raguna smiled, a genuine smile. "Thanks for that, Zavier." He said. And he meant it. It was good to know he had someone who cared about him, who was willing to put their life on the line for him. He'd thought he'd lost all that a year ago. It felt so wonderful to be proved wrong.

"Shut up. It's not important." Zavier growled. His head was bowed, and Raguna could swear he was blushing. "I didn't care if you _wanted_ to die, I didn't want you to. So really, I'm just here for myself."

Raguna just smiled. Zavier underestimated himself. He was twisting everything around so that it looked like he was only in The Resistance for selfish reasons, but Raguna could tell from the scowl on his face, the pinkness on his cheeks, the hunched shoulders and the way he was downright _refusing _to look at him that it wasn't quite the truth.

"Damn it, what are you grinning about?" Zavier snapped at Raguna. "You're laughing at me, aren't you?"

Raguna raised his hands in defence. "No, no, I'm not!" He said, a broad smile still plastered over his face. "It's just... you look cute like that."

Zavier raised his eyebrows in surprise, then glared at Raguna. "What do you mean? Like what?" He demanded.

"Like _that. _Embarrassed. It's cute." Raguna said calmly. Zavier was far from calm.

"No, it's not! Stop saying that! I'm not cute." He spluttered with anger, his fists clenching. Raguna raised his eyebrows, failing to understand why Zavier was so offended by this.

"It's a compliment." He said obliviously.

"To me it isn't!" Zavier grumbled.

Raguna shrugged. "Your Mum called me cute all the time..." He said offhandedly, and Zavier's face blanked. There was a long pause.

"I didn't need to hear that, Raguna." Said Zavier eventually. He pulled his knees up to his chest, biting his lip. "I mean, I _really _didn't need to hear that."

--

**As promised, a tiny, weensy, miniscule bit of **_**romance!**_** Though I suppose it could still be seen as friendship... But never fear! Next chapter... well, I won't spoil it for you.**

**Reviews are inspiring! Constructive criticism is encouraged! If you have anything you want to share with me about this, then feel free to let your voice be heard!**


	6. Holding onto you

Most of the following day was spent walking. Raguna had packed a map, but neither he nor Zavier could decipher it effectively. Eventually, Raguna had worked out that if they just followed the river, they would eventually make it back to their comrades.

The temperature was mercifully cooler than the previous day, and Raguna and Zavier were able to walk for longer without the discomfort of being soaked to the skin with their own sweat. Zavier was beginning to wish he'd listened to Raguna when he'd told him to put socks on, though, as his boots were rubbing painfully against his heels. He did not mention this to Raguna, of course. Doing so would be effectively admitting that he had been wrong.

They had stopped only once, to eat, and they had not passed another soul all day. It was a little unnerving, as if they were just waiting for someone to jump out at them and take them prisoner- and that was if they were lucky. The Sechs had been known to kill suspected Resistance soldiers on the spot. Raguna did not blame the civilians for this. The Resistance had hurt and maimed and killed, and so had he. It was understandable, the awful view the Sechs had on The Resistance.

Raguna smiled as Zavier cracked yet another terrible joke. Really, where was he getting that drivel from? He heard him sigh exasperatedly.

"Oh, come on, you could at least pretend to laugh!" He grumbled.

"Ha, ha, ha." Raguna said deliberately, and Zavier let out a cry of frustration.

"I am _not _going to be able to survive a week with you! I swear, I..." Zavier took off his helmet and ran his uninjured hand through his hair in annoyance. A dagger of pain stabbed at his side, and he stopped walking.

Raguna, hearing the crunch of leaves behind him stop, turned around and wandered back to Zavier. "Are you okay?" He asked. They _had _been walking for a long time. Zavier nodded despite himself.

"Yeah, just gimme a second..." He muttered, doubled over.

"If you do this again, I'm really going to have to carry you, aren't I?" Raguna said, hands on hips and a trace of an amused smile on his face. Zavier just glared up at him in response.

"You wouldn't dare." He hissed- and then wished he hadn't as he felt one arm wrap around his waist and another sweep his legs from under him as Raguna picked him up, bridal style, and continued walking along the riverbank. Zavier went ballistic.

"Put me down! Put me down, you bastard!" He shrieked, struggling for all he was worth, making things very difficult for Raguna indeed. "Put me down so I can kill you!"

Raguna laughed, tilting his head to dodge a failing fist. "Okay, now I'm _definitely _not putting you down!" He said, prompting another series of infuriated shouts from Zavier. "And be quiet!" He added. "We're in enemy territory, remember?"

Zavier begrudgingly fell silent, though continued to struggle and kick feebly in Raguna's arms, until finally he settled against him, though his face still retained a vicious scowl. It was terribly unfair, he thought, that he should be the shorter of the two. Perhaps there was some truth to his mother's theory of 'milk makes you grow tall'. Zavier had always hated milk.

Though, he had to admit, it felt enormously relieving to have the weight lifted off his blistering feet, even for just a little while.

"You could at least carry me on your back." Zavier muttered grouchily, after about ten minutes of swearing casually at Raguna. Being carried like _this _made him feel like such a girl. Raguna half-shrugged.

"It's... safer this way." He murmured eventually. He couldn't tell Zavier the truth- that he liked holding him like that. He didn't know why he liked it, he just did. It made him feel... at peace? Not quite, but close.

"Like Hell it is." Zavier snapped. "Put me down."

Raguna did as he was told. Zavier brushed himself off, glaring into the ground and cursing under his breath, wondering why he let Raguna carry him all that way.

"We should stop for today." Raguna said quietly. Zavier went to protest, but Raguna stopped him. Taking the small white bundle of bandages from his pack, he said "We've got to change your bandages. Who knows how long that'll take..."

Zavier let out a yelp of indignation. "And you were planning to tell me this _when?!" _He seethed in anger. Why was it _always _him?

--

Raguna exhaled deeply, allowing himself to relax for the first time that day as he washed the pleasantly cool water over himself. He was thankful that the route to camp basically followed the river all the way. Holding his nose, he submerged his head completely under the water, enjoying fully the coolness rushing past over his face and body. If only he could stay like that forever, perfectly content and at peace. But too soon his lungs were nagging him for air, and he was forced to return to the unloving world he had grown so used to.

He glanced over to the riverbank, where Zavier was hovering uncertainly. He sighed. They had accumulated a fair amount of dirt over the two days they had been travelling for, but Zavier was still clinging onto old habits- he never was, and never would be fond of baths.

"Come on, Zavier!" Raguna urged, waving a hand to him impatiently. "You're a mess. And it's not like a real bath, anyway." He tried to shine a positive light on the situation to Zavier.

Zavier frowned. "You... You're sure there aren't any leeches in here?" He asked worriedly. Raguna splashed water at him.

"It's _fine." _He insisted.

Zavier swallowed- then pulled off his shirt and placed it in his helmet. Then he collapsed on the ground and took off his boots. He paused a moment to massage his aching feet- the blisters that had formed over the course of the day had burst and bloodied his feet and boots. He growled, irritated, as he spotted Raguna staring at him with concern, and turned his back on the dark-haired man.

Unbuckling his belt and tossing it carelessly aside, Zavier shot a glare at Raguna, fiddling hesitantly at the button of his trousers. "Don't _watch_ me, idiot!" He muttered, and Raguna went pink and looked away.

Raguna heard Zavier fumbling with himself, followed by a series of splashes and Zavier gasping at the coldness of the water. "How can this be so cold? It's like a hundred degrees out here!" He said, hopping around and hugging himself, trying to get warm.

"I think this river is running from the mountains... There's snow up there, so the water should be cold, right?" Raguna guessed, shrugging. He waded through the waist-deep water over to the river bank and picked up the bandages. Then he half-walked, half-swam over to Zavier.

"Here." He said, handing the bundle to Zavier. "You have to change your bandages." Zavier took them unsurely, then moved to peel away the bandages that covered him. He gasped as he tugged at the bandages that masked his side- the blood had dried and caused them to stick to him. Raguna took the bandages in his own hands.

"I'll help you." He said, and Zavier let him. At first they worked at it together, but then Zavier saw the blood, his blood, black and crusted to his body, with fresh red ooze seeping out as the bandages were gingerly pulled away, taking the scabs with it. And Zavier couldn't look at it anymore. He knew that if he looked at it, he would be sick for sure. So he stopped, allowing Raguna to tend to his chest and hand while he kept his head raised and eyes closed, trying desperately to ignore the stinging pain.

He looked at Raguna, whose attention was on the bandages. Then Zavier noticed something he hadn't noticed before: the flaky red patches across Raguna's arms and shoulders. Burn marks. Raguna was hurt, too. And he had carried Zavier all that way...

Zavier broke away suddenly from Raguna, as if he had some contagious disease. Raguna's eyes widened in surprise. He moved to take Zavier's bandages again, but Zavier pushed him away.

"Stop it."

Raguna frowned. "What's the matter?"

"You! It's you, okay?" Zavier snapped. "This is always how it is. You're always having to take care of me, 'cause I can't take care of myself. I came here because I thought I'd have to help you, but... I'm just causing trouble. It's my fault we're in this mess."

Raguna sighed, a look of sadness skimming across his face. "No... Zavier, it's not like that..."

"Yes, it _is!"_ Zavier didn't mean to shout, but he couldn't help it. "It's always been like this. Even before... Even back in Kardia, you'd do something, I'd try to do the same, and then I'd get in trouble and you'd have to bail me out."

"I didn't mind..." Raguna whispered, barely loud enough for Zavier to hear. But Zavier did hear, and it filled him with rage.

"No, no, you didn't mind, did you?" He yelled. "Because it was all so easy for you. Five years. I've spent _five years _running some stupid race, trying to keep up with you. But you just speed ahead like it's nothing. You don't even look back. And here I am, trying so damn hard to match you, and I'm thinking... what's the point?" Raguna was looking at him with such hurt in his eyes, and it made Zavier feel horribly guilty, and angry because of it.

"I... I didn't think you... I didn't know." Raguna said quietly.

"I know that." Zavier said angrily. "How could you know? You never bothered to look. You're always so nice, so bloody _nice _ to me, and I can't stand it 'cause I'm trying to hate you, but then you look at me, and... I can't." His voice faded to a whisper. "Even when... When you married the girl I'd loved for _ten years..._ I couldn't hate you. Dear God, I wanted to, but I couldn't."

"Zavier..." Raguna began, but was cut off by a wave of Zavier's hand.

"I can't do this." Zavier muttered, covering his face with his now un-bandaged right hand, unwittingly smearing blood across his face. "I'm sorry..." And he marched over to the riverbank and pulled himself out of the water, picking up his clothes, his back to Raguna all the while.

"Zavier." Raguna said again uncertainly, taking a step towards him.

"_WHAT?!"_ Zavier exploded, spinning round to face Raguna, unable to hold in the anger and frustration any more. He stood there, glaring at Raguna, fists clenched, brow furrowed, bleeding, dripping wet and stark naked from head to toe. There were tears in his eyes and he hated himself for it. Raguna looked back with unbearable understanding. And after a while, Zavier found himself relaxing, ever so slightly. His fists uncurled, and the fire left his eyes. Raguna raised his hand to Zavier.

"Let's change your bandages together, okay?" He said quietly. Zavier did not reply, but he could feel himself nodding slowly. With silent humility, he shakily lowered himself back into the water. Raguna smiled at him and held out his hand. Zavier looked away, but took the hand that was offered to him and allowed Raguna to lead him back the middle of the river. Taking the end of one of the bandages, Raguna began where he had left off, though this time Zavier helped him.

"So," said Raguna, "what time do you want tea tonight?"

--

Zavier prodded at the dying embers of the fire with a stick before tossing it onto the smouldering ash. He rubbed away the goose bumps that were forming on his arms- though the air was still warm, a cold breeze was blowing in as the sun set.

"Hey," said Raguna, leaning out of the ten. "It's getting late, and we need an early start tomorrow. You'd better come inside."

Zavier groaned and carelessly kicked some dirt on top of the fire. Then he crawled into the tent. Raguna was already in his sleeping bag, his back turned to the side of the tent. Zavier gave him a nudge with his foot- the tent was small as it was, without Raguna taking up more space than he needed.

Zavier unzipped his sleeping bag and pulled it over him. Lying on the plastic sheet that covered the ground, he could feel every stone and pebble beneath him. Perhaps if his got in his sleeping bag he would be more comfortable- but he never did. It was a matter of habit.

He lay on his back for a while, then shifted and turned to his side- his uninjured side. He jumped a little as he found himself almost nose to nose with Raguna, but he didn't move. They just lay there, looking ahead, but not really _at _each other.

Then, without warning, Raguna closed the gap between them, and kissed Zavier softly on the lips. Zavier barely even responded- he just carried on staring straight ahead, blinking, believing he'd imagined the whole thing. So Raguna kissed him again.

This time Zavier did respond, and he kissed him back. It started out slow and soft, but gradually became more desperate, longing and passionate. Raguna shuffled closer to Zavier, turning over so that he was almost on top of him. His tongue darted out to touch Zavier's lip, and then it was touching his tongue, exploring his mouth, their breath mingling, warm and sweet.

It was just friendly kissing at first. Two mates comfort kissing because in that moment they both desperately _needed _someone to be there. Because they were sad and scared and lonely. Because, just for a while, they wanted to believe that the journey ahead was not one that had to be travelled alone.

But with each second, it became something more.

Zavier's hands crept up to Raguna shoulders, stroking over his bare back. Raguna's own hands began to roam, sliding up Zavier's shirt, welcome on his hot skin, leaving tingling paths wherever he touched. And still they were kissing.

Zavier's hands felt rough and coarse as they brushed across Raguna's back and up to his hair, and Raguna had expected the rest of his to be the same, but under his clothes Zavier's skin was smooth and soft as a whisper, and the more Raguna touched, the more he wanted to touch. Climbing his hand up from the taut flatness of Zavier's stomach, he glided gently over the bandages to his chest, pinching a dusky nipple between his thumb a forefinger, and Zavier gasped and dug his nails into Raguna's shoulders.

Raguna took some amusement as Zavier's kisses suddenly became rougher and angrier, his ever-swollen pride taking him over once again. He let Zavier turn him so that he was now the one underneath, enjoying Zavier's teeth nibbling at his lower lip and his hands in his hair.

He could hear the blood rushing around his body, to one particular part of his body, and he could hear the heavy thud of a heart slamming against a ribcage. He wasn't sure whether it was his heart he was hearing, or Zavier's.

Raguna snaked his arms around Zavier's lower back, pulling him on top of him fully, his skin flush against him. Zavier moaned and kissed him harder.

And then they stopped.

Flushed and breathless, they could only look at each other, passion gone and sense taking over. Zavier untangled his hands from Raguna's hair, and Raguna removed his from under Zavier's shirt. Zavier rolled off Raguna and back to his own sleeping bag. Eye contact was avoided, and though not a word was spoken, each knew they were thinking the exact same thing: Mist.

Neither of them got a wink of sleep that night.

--

**That's the first time... I've ever written a scene like that last one... I've never actually done anything like that myself, being only in my early teens, but I tried my hardest to handle the situation correctly and maturely... Did I do all right?**

**I didn't get many reviews for my last chapter, so I tried to up the ante a bit here. Did it pay off? If you have anything you'd like to tell me... Well, you know the drill.**


	7. Regrets

Zavier was stood waist-deep in the river, frantically rubbing the freezing water over himself. He had never liked baths, but now he was washing himself as if his life depended on it. He scooped up some of the copper coloured water in his cupped hands and used it to wash his mouth out, before spitting it violently back into the water.

He just had to get the taste of Raguna off his lips. He could still feel Raguna's mouth on his, his tongue exploring his mouth, leaving his sweet, smoky taste burning all the way down his throat.

Scooping up more water, he practically clawed at his body, not even caring as the bandages he had so painstakingly applied to himself just the night before were ripped away, tearing his skin. He scrubbed himself until his skin was raw and bleeding, and there was no chance of anything from the night before being left on him.

So... why did he still feel so dirty?

He could still feel Raguna's hands all over him, touching him, squeezing him, and he hated it. The very thought that he had let Raguna do that to him... As if it wasn't bad enough that it was another man, but _Raguna._ His friend. His rival. And, the worst part was, that at the time, he hadn't minded Raguna's kisses. Actually, it had felt, well, nice. It shouldn't have felt nice. But it did, and that was what made Zavier angry. When he thought about it now, he wanted to be sick. The fact that Raguna had kissed him, and that he had kissed him back was enough to make him retch.

He waded over to the riverbank and picked up his clothes. Then, realising that he had been wearing the same clothes when Raguna had touched him, he hurled them into the water with an angry cry. He ran them through the water, shook them, the wrung them out. He repeated the process with each item of clothing he had been wearing. He knew he'd have to walk in them later and they would rub against his raw skin and make him sore, but he didn't care. He had to get Raguna off them.

Raguna.

On him, kissing.

And touching.

And stroking, holding, licking, biting, squeezing.

Zavier buried his face in his hands, whinnying in frustration, disgust and confusion. "Oh, God." He whispered to himself. "Oh God, oh God, oh God..."

--

Raguna heard Zavier get up early. He wasn't sure how early, but before dawn anyway. He made no move to stop him. He was probably a bit shook up after what had happened the night before. He knew _he _was.

He wasn't quite sure why he had kissed Zavier like that. Maybe, because Zavier's words had gotten to him, he wanted to prove that he was worth more to him than just some kid who couldn't take care of himself. But once Raguna had started kissing, he couldn't stop. He didn't _want _to stop. And it scared him.

He hadn't let himself kiss anyone in so long, and it was terrifying. He'd never done anything like that before- he'd completely lost control of all his senses, all his actions. The only thing that existed was Zavier. At that moment, he was the only person in the entire world besides him, and Raguna had wanted to say things to him, to _do _things to him that he hadn't wanted to do to anyone in a very, very long time.

And it was frightening. So frightening. To have wanted to do that with anyone was horrifying- but with _Zavier, _it was even worse. Zavier was his best friend. Once his brain had taken over, he'd remembered that and stopped wanting to do those things to him.

Raguna turned on his side, his sleeping bag rustling. He held his stomach- his belly was aching, burning continuously. Guilt. He felt guilty, so guilty. When he'd kissed Zavier, he had effectively forgotten his family. Forgotten Mist- and Poppy.

Burrowing deeper into the sleeping bag, Raguna held his head in his hands, sobbing softly to himself, vowing he would never let himself lose control again. "Mist, I'm so sorry. Please... Please... Forgive me. I'm so sorry..."

--

When Raguna eventually left the tent, Zavier was already outside, kindling a fire and hugging his knees to his chest, shoulders hunched. He didn't look at Raguna, and Raguna didn't look at him, though out of the corner of his eye he noted his damp hair and sodden clothes. He had obviously been down to the river. The thick, awkward atmosphere could've been cut with a knife.

Raguna walked over to a tree by which he'd left his rucksack and began fumbling inside, pulling out the sack of rice and two bowls. With his back turned, Zavier dared to steal a glance at him and he saw the eight crescent shaped marks etched into his shoulder blades from where Zavier's jagged nails had gripped him. Zavier felt a hot blush exploding across his face as he recalled the previous night's events and felt Raguna's sharp fingers pinching his nipple. He wrapped his arms protectively around himself and glared at the ground, angry that Raguna had unwittingly found his weak spot.

Raguna poured the rice into the pan of water that Zavier had already collected and set it over the fire. He slumped down on the ground and sighed exasperatedly. He looked at Zavier, who was scowling down at his lap, his cheeks bright red.

"Last night," Zavier announced suddenly, still not making eye contact. "Nothing happened. Okay?" He paused, then finally looked at Raguna, a look of desperation in his eyes. "_Okay?!"_

Raguna quickly nodded, a little afraid of Zavier apparent panic. He took the rice off the fire and split it into two bowls. He held one out to Zavier. "Here."

Zavier looked at it, then shook his head. "I don't want it." He whispered.

"Take it. You'll need it for today." Raguna said firmly, forcing the bowl into Zavier's hands. Zavier slapped his hands away viciously.

"I _said _I don't want it!" He screamed at Raguna.

"Eat it." Raguna said quietly, not raising his voice, not fighting back. It drove Zavier crazy.

Zavier threw the bowl down on the ground, sending its contents splattering over the fire. "_I don't want it!"_

Raguna's eyes travelled slowly from Zavier, to the spilt rice, then back to Zavier. He showed no emotion, no annoyance at Zavier's behaviour. Then he nodded. "Okay, Zavier. You don't have to eat it if you don't want to." He whispered, his eyes not exactly sad, but tired.

"Don't talk to me like that!" Zavier fumed. "I'm nearly twenty-three years old, so why don't you treat me like it? Eh?!" He demanded, fists clenched.

Raguna looked at him properly for the first time that morning, with an expression that looked completely alien on his face. From what Zavier could tell, he was _angry._ "I'll treat you like an adult when you _act _like one." He hissed.

And, for once in his life, Zavier was speechless. Utterly lost for words. He couldn't wrap his mind around it- Raguna had _insulted _him. And it hurt. True, Zavier had started the conflict, but that didn't give Raguna the right to say that to him. It hurt. It hurt because he was right, and Zavier knew he was right and that made him all the angrier.

But he didn't shout. He didn't lose his temper. He just lowered his eyes, a silent shame burning into him. He quickly reached down and picked up the bowl he had thrown down, his gaze fixed on his hands.

"I'm sorry I did that." He mumbled, hunching his shoulders, drawing to himself like a tortoise. "I'll pack the tent away."

"I'll help you." Raguna offered.

And, instead of refusing Raguna's assistance like he always did, Zavier just nodded.

--

"_Hi, Dad."_

"_Oh, hello sweetheart. How was school?"_

"_School was fine... Hey, Dad...?"_

"_Yes?"_

"_Can I join The Resistance?"_

"_..."_

"_Daddy?"_

"_Wh-Why do you ask that?"_

"_Because... Ahem: The Sech government is intent on supreme power and doesn't care about its working classes, and is set on destroying the land from which we grow our livelihood."_

"_Wh... Where did you hear that... That rubbish?"_

"_Cobi told me. She said a nice man from The Resistance told her."_

"_A 'nice man'?"_

"_He's living at her house."_

"_...Irah? Irah, come in here."_

"_I'm a bit busy, what is it?"_

"_Listen to what your daughter has been learning at school. Tell her, Tauny."_

"_Why?"_

"_Just tell her, love."_

"_Cobi said we should all join The Resistance because the Sech Empire is going to betray us and burn our houses. She said Ragna told her, and that he's staying at her house with his friend. She said he saved her life. I believe her. Wh-What's the matter, Dad? Mum?"_

"_This Resistance man... he's staying at Cobi's HOUSE? Are you sure? I'm sure Sachery and Sahra would never..."_

"_She said her mum helped heal them. I don't think her dad likes them much, though, from what I've heard. Why are you asking me this?"_

"_Oh, Tauny..."_

"_Irah, Irah, please. Now, listen very carefully here, Tauny. Are you absolutely sure that what Cobi told you was true?"_

"_Mm-hm. She crossed her heart and hoped to die and everything. But we were supposed to keep it a secret, so don't tell her I told you!"_

"_Oh, no... not Sahra. Not COBI..."_

"_Mummy? What's wrong? You're crying... Dad? Dad, what's happening? Have I done something wrong? Is it because I broke my promise to Cobi to keep it a secret? Dad?"_

"_No... No, sweetheart, you haven't done anything wrong. You've been a very good, brave girl. Now, could you go and fetch daddy a pen and paper? I need to write a very important letter..."_

_--_

**Uh-oh, tension between Zavier and Raguna is building! Looks like they're both regretting what they did. Zavier can't get past his prejudices (hey, he really doesn't seem like the guy to be a big fan of gay rights) and Raguna is still clinging on to Mist's memory...**

**I do love reviews! I'm not getting many for this story, so it would be lovely hear from you! I will reply- if you want me to, of course.**


	8. Sech Cell

**I know it's been a while since I've written anything- schoolwork is really piling up these days. Hopefully I'll manage to find a way to balance out my work with my writing!**

--

It took just over half an hour to pack the tent away fully- less than half the amount of time it had took to put it up. Though Zavier was still injured and his actions limited, their lack of conversation had meant that work got done a lot faster.

Neither had spoken a word to each other. Occasionally Zavier would let out a hiss of pain, and sometimes Raguna would mutter to himself, but neither made any attempt to start a conversation, or cut through the thick, awkward atmosphere. Once or twice, Zavier looked up to find Raguna looking at him, and then Raguna would look away. And once or twice Raguna found the same thing with Zavier.

So that was how it was going to be. The two of them, watching each other, wondering, never talking, allowing their suspicion and confusion to take them over and beat them down. The Sechs and The Resistance were fighting, but there was a war going on right in front of them. And the only ones involved were Zavier and Raguna. A battle of mind- psychological warfare. It was all a matter of just who would break first.

"Let's go," said Zavier flatly. He bent down to pick up the rucksack- then winced in pain. He quickly clamped his hands to his side, almost regretting the violence with which he has washed himself that morning. _Almost._

"Does it hurt that much?" The sudden closeness of Raguna's voice startled Zavier, and he quickly turned away, fully covering his belly with both arms- though a slow redness was spreading over his shirt.

A hand tentatively touched his arm, and Zavier instinctively flinched away.

"Show me," Raguna ordered.

Zavier did not raise his head to look at him. Taking a few steps away, making sure there was a safe distance between him and Raguna, he hesitantly lowered his arms from around his body. Raguna looked pointedly at him, and Zavier understood. Frowning, he begrudgingly raised his shirt to reveal his injuries, fresh with blood and stripped of their bandages.

Raguna scarcely blinked, but Zavier could see the worry in his eyes. "Tell me what happened," he said emotionlessly, and Zavier got the picture. It wasn't a question- it was an order.

And Zavier was never one to obey orders.

Except...

"Got washed." He shrugged, as if he himself did not know what had happened. It wasn't Raguna giving him the orders here, he told himself. It was his commanding officer- it was his _duty _to obey.

Raguna simply nodded in response. Taking the rucksack from Zavier's unresisting hands, he unzipped it and brought out a needle and a reel of twine. He then handed them to a bewildered Zavier. "Here," he said. "Sahra said you had to change your stitches after a few days to stop your skin becoming infected. Since you've already taken off your bandages you might as well do it now."

Zavier just stared, open-mouthed, at Raguna. He found himself waiting for the 'I'll help you'. But it didn't come. Instead, an "I'll wait until you're done", and Raguna sat down on a felled tree. Zavier surprised, to say the least. But that was fine with him- he didn't need help from anyone, especially not _Raguna._

Sitting down on the same tree, as far away as possible from Raguna, Zavier began to unravel the twine. His hands were trembling. It took him over a minute to thread the twine through the needle. Fumbling in his pocket, he brought out his pocket knife. Flicking out the blade, he gingerly peeled back his reddened shirt to reveal his injuries in all their bloody glory.

He cleaned himself up best he could without the use of water, brushing away the dried clots of blood with his fingertips. Stretching out his skin, he managed to locate the dark stitches that held his side together- even with his vision blurring. Carefully pushing the cold blade of his knife against his wound, Zavier struggled to stop his hands shaking so violently. He didn't want to end up stabbing himself.

Clenching every muscle in his body, Zavier braced himself- before quickly driving his knife into the wound and flicking upwards, cutting the first stitch. Fresh blood poured out of him. Zavier ignored it as he jerked his knife into the opposite side of the wound and cut the twine on that side too. He made sure to keep his thumb and forefinger tight around one end of the twine, or else it would be impossible to locate beneath all the blood.

His mind was clouding, and he was getting dizzy. But he couldn't let himself lose. Tightening his grip on the twine, he pulled- then gasped as he felt it rushing in and out of him. He pulled faster, just wanting it out, over and done with. He felt the twine loosen in his hand as it came free from his body, and he immediately threw it down on the ground with something between a curse and a sob.

He then pressed his hands to his side, trying desperately to halt the flow of blood that was spurting from him. Surely, there wasn't meant to be that much blood. He couldn't bear to look at it any longer, and he closed his eyes tight, his face contorted in pain, his whole body hunched.

It hurt. Oh, God, it hurt so damn much. His whole body was writhing in pain, and there were tears in his eyes. Zavier wanted to scream, but he couldn't let himself. He couldn't let himself give in to the pain- or to Raguna.

"Stop... Stop, stop, stop..." He begged himself to stop bleeding, to stop hurting. But he couldn't.

His hand flailed for the needle- he couldn't trust himself to open his eyes without the tears spilling out, and he was sure he would not be able to see properly anyway. Locating it next to him, it took him a while to steady his fingers enough to pick it up. Clenching himself in determination, Zavier forced his eyes open and his mind to set, and he raised the needle to his side.

As soon as the cold tip of the needle touched his skin, Zavier knew he wouldn't be able to do it. He couldn't put it in. To pierce his own flesh, to drive the sharp object into himself- it was impossible. Zavier shuddered at his own weakness. There tears in his eyes threatened to pour over his cheeks.

Biting his lip so hard it was drawing blood, clenching his fists and hating himself- truly _hating _himself- he raised his eyes to look at Raguna. He was staring at him, his face a blank mask.

"L... Lieutenant..." Zavier whispered. It was okay. It wasn't Raguna, so it was okay. "I... I..." Just say it. You don't have to mean it. _Say _ it. "I could... use some help." The words tasted like acid, burning his mouth. He turned his face away, full of regret. "Never mind, I-"

Zavier's voice caught in his throat as Raguna took his bloodied hands in his, gently prising his stiff fingers from around the needle and stroking across his knuckles soothingly, waiting for him to calm down. Zavier tried to block him out, focusing his mind only on seizing control of his erratic breathing.

Raguna hands pulled away from Zavier's, and Zavier suddenly got an urge to grab them back, just for a second. He didn't, though. He would never allow himself to.

Raguna shifted off the tree to kneel in the ground before Zavier, level with the blood and scars. His hands pressed gently against Zavier's wounds- he didn't seem to care about the blood that was staining them. He adjusted his grip on the needle and held it to the side of the blood-clotted injury.

"Are you ready?" He asked quietly, looking up at Zavier.

"Wait..." Zavier said shakily, keeping one had on his wound, assisting Raguna to keep his hand steady, he reached into his pocket with the other hand and took out the handkerchief his sister had bought him. Balling it up, he put it in his mouth and bit down hard, preparing himself. He nodded. "Okay. I'm ready."

Raguna gave him a smile that didn't reach his eyes, then bent his head to look at the needle. Biting his lip and hoping for the best, he stabbed the needle into Zavier's side.

Zavier screamed. He clamped a hand over his mouth, trying desperately to muffle his whimpers. He had thought it had hurt when _Sahra _was treating him, and she was a trained doctor. He pressed his other hand down on his stomach- every gasp he made caused his belly to jump too, making the needle hacking in and out of him even more painful.

Raguna forced himself to ignore Zavier's gasps, trying to focus solely on the task at hand. He wasn't all that good at sewing anyway, and his stitches were clumsy and uneven, and the needle kept sliding from his grip as his hands became slippery with blood. Zavier was shaking, and so was he. He knew he was hurting Zavier- but how could he not?

Raguna cut the end of the thread with his teeth and quickly tied it in an expert knot. "There," he said. "Done."

Zavier could only nod in response, relinquishing his teeth on the cloth and gasping for breath. His body jerked in shock as he felt Raguna's hand gently lay over his side, cool on his burning flesh. It felt good.

But then he remembered that the hands that felt so comforting on his body were the same hands that had touched him and made him feel so dirty just the night before, and he pushed them away.

Raguna sighed exasperatedly. Shrugging off his jacket, he scrunched it up and used it to clean the blood from Zavier's wound, dabbing softly at it until the bleeding had stopped. He smiled half-heartedly as Zavier blinked at him, wide-eyed, affected deeply by Raguna's sudden actions.

Raguna pulled his jacket back on, the green material now brown with blood. He picked up the needle and the leftover twine, then stood up and wandered back to the other side of the tree and sat down. He didn't say anything to Zavier.

Zavier gingerly brushed the stitches with his fingertips. He put his handkerchief back in his pocket and searched through the rucksack for the bandages. As he wound the new, fresh cloth over his side and around his hand, he never once looked at Raguna. He just carried on wrapping the bandages around himself, wanting nothing more that to hide the sight of his injuries.

Swallowing, he dared to look at Raguna, who was sat, staring straight ahead. "Lieutenant..." He began unsurely.

"Yes?"

"Thanks, okay?" Zavier bit his tongue. He hated saying 'thank you' almost as much as he hated apologising or asking for help. But, however much he hated to admit it, Raguna had helped him when he'd needed it. It was only right that he thanked him for it.

Raguna smiled, letting out a quick breath that sounded something like a laugh. "At ease, soldier. At ease."

--

Erika jumped as a large, heavy bundle of what appeared to be letters were thrown down on the table before her. Setting down her stone-cold mug of coffee, she looked up incredulously at her brother.

"_What's this?"_

Jiao smirked down at her. "_Look what we got this morning." _He flicked out his knife and cut the string that held the bundle together, allowing the crumpled envelopes to spill over the desk. _"Over ten letters reporting of two Resistance soldiers on the run. All from the Salazaan area."_

"_So?"_

Jiao rolled his eyes at Erika's usual lack of enthusiasm. He and his little sister were so different. Whilst he could put his emotions aside and block out his conscience to focus completely at the task at hand, Erika had to believe in something body and soul to put in any effort. But when she did believe, she wasn't afraid to fight for it. That was what made her so useful to their cell. She believed in the Sechs Empire.

"_SO, this is our assignment. We've got two fugitives somewhere around there, and it's our job to find them." _Jiao said, thumping his broad chest proudly. He had worked hard to finally earn the honour of leading his own cell, and this was his first proper assignment. He wasn't going to give it up.

Erika groaned. "_Captain, please, listen. Its two men. Two men. What sort of difference can two men possibly make? We're too good for this sort of amateur job." _She sniffed. She had grown used to calling her brother by his proper title. In fact, she couldn't remember that last time she had called him by his name. She supposed she must have, once, when she was a child. But that was all so long ago now.

"_You just don't get it, do you?" _Jiao grumbled in annoyance. "_The reason we received these letters, this assignment, is because these two are a threat. They're indoctrinating people into their filthy Resistance ways. They're trying to turn Sechs against each other. Don't you understand?"_

"_Excuse me, Captain?"_

"_The people who sent these letters are all parents or spouses of people who have been brainwashed by these two." _Jiao explained. "_If it was one letter, then fine, I'd agree with you. Two, a coincidence. But when it gets more than that, things are serious. These two are dangerous."_

Erika leaned forward in her chair, propping herself up with her sharp elbows. She narrowed her eyes, sure uncertain. Having spent all her life in his shadow, she had learned of the captain's uncanny ability to lie so convincingly. "_So... where do we start?" _Orders were orders, after all.

Jiao grinned as he realised he had won his sister over. "_It shouldn't be too difficult. Word is, they got separated from their platoon. At least one of them must be injured. They don't have any means of transport, which means they've got to be on foot. They should still be near the Salazaan area. Apparently some Sech family were hiding them. Speaking of which..." _He turned his head and shouted. "_Simian! Get over here!"_

Five seconds later, a head of wild chestnut hair poked around the door. "_You called, Captain?" _It said with a grin.

"_Yeah. Take these." _Jiao thrust the stack of letters in Simian's spindly arms. "_I want you and Lin do some research on the Stobes family. The man's name is Sachery, but that's all we know. I want information on ALL family members. I want to know their flaws, their weaknesses. I want to know what the love and hate. Hell, I want to know what they had for breakfast. Just get on with it!"_

Simian nodded, his mass of hair bobbing back and forth. "_Yes, Captain. Right away." _And with a salute, he turned and skittered away.

Erika smiled in amusement. "_You're really putting your all into this, sir." _She commented.

"_Oh yes, Erika. You'll see; I'll have this case solved in no time." _Jiao leaned back on the desk, folding his gorilla-like arms and smirking in confidence. "_Those two kids aren't going to know what him them."_

_--_

**I was planning on switching back to another scene with Raguna and Zavier here, but after the introduction of Jiao and Erika, it just didn't seem right- like it would take away the gravity of the situation. I think it's best that I leave it until the next chapter.**

**Please review, and thank you! I'd like to hear you ideas of what I could include later on in the story, so feel free to request whatever you want!**


	9. The Death of Another

**I've been dying to write this chapter for a while, but I have no idea where I'm going to go from here, so after you've read it would be helpful if you were to put in any requests you might have!**

--

Raguna had wanted to wait until Zavier had completely healed of his shock before packing up and following the river towards what they _hoped _was an allied camp, but Zavier simply wouldn't listen, insisting he was _fine_- though he was shaking violently, and when they took a toilet break Raguna heard him being sick behind a tree.

They had been walking for about an hour, and neither had spoken a word to each other. Raguna kept looking back to check on Zavier. He was limping and clutching his side and mouthing obscenities- but Raguna didn't offer to stop for him. If Zavier wanted them to take a rest, he could say so himself.

Raguna suddenly felt guilty. He knew he wasn't really being fair to Zavier. The young man was far too proud to admit to being tired, accepting that he needed to stop. It was obvious how much it had pained him to ask Raguna for help when trying to stitch up his wounds. But sometimes in order to do things right, you had to let go of your foolish pride. There was no shame in asking for help if he needed it- why couldn't Zavier see that?

Raguna heard a loud crack of undergrowth behind him, and he turned around. Zavier had tripped. He watched as he struggled shakily to his feet. He didn't offer to help him. It wasn't that he didn't care- he just didn't want to get closer to Zavier than he had to. He didn't want to have to touch him. He had to show Mist that what happened between him and Zavier hadn't _meant_ anything. He still loved her. He was still _in _love with her.

He couldn't forget that promise.

"Are you all right?" He asked. Zavier hissed in response, nodding vigorously, even as he almost fell over again. Zavier swore and lowered his head to inspect his fresh stitches under his shirt. And that's when Raguna noticed something on his neck, just below his ear.

"I think you have a bug on your neck..." Raguna said unsurely. Were the insects around here poisonous? He pointed to below his own ear. "Just there," he guided.

Zavier frowned at him, as if he thought he was tricking him. Then her raised a hand to below his ear and brushed his palm briskly against his neck, trying to swat it away. But the strange, reddish beetle stayed stubbornly in place.

"It's still there."

Zavier rubbed his neck again, but to no avail. He was becoming increasingly impatient and was frowning at Raguna, trying to figure out the joke. Eventually Raguna sighed. He was sure the insects in the forest weren't poisonous, but he wasn't taking any chances. He walked over to Zavier, who raised his head to reveal his neck properly.

Raguna leaned in to inspect the bug- though it was looking less like a bug now that he was closer to Zavier. It seemed to be a part of his skin, mottled red and purple- maybe it was a birth mark. Strange, he'd never noticed it before. He frowned- then realised. He quickly turned his back on Zavier, his face flushing pink.

"I-It's nothing. I made a mistake," He said quickly.

Zavier frowned again at Raguna, completely bemused. After a moment's thought, Zavier disappeared through the trees towards the direction of the river, and Raguna guessed it was so he could examine his reflection and see for himself what was so interesting about his neck.

About a minute later he emerged from the trees again. His fists were clenched and his head was bowed and all his freckles had disappeared underneath a deep blush. He didn't look at Raguna, and after a second Raguna turned his gaze away from Zavier too.

"You were right. It was nothing," Raguna heard Zavier mumble, and he could only nod in agreement.

It was safer that they just pretend.

--

"_Cobi, for the last time, take that dress OFF! It's dying for a wash,"_ Sahra chastised as her daughter bounded up to the dinner table and sat on her stool, scraping it loudly across the bare, gravelled ground. She was still wearing her ragged red dress.

"_Tomorrow, Mummy," _Cobi dismissed, reaching for her mug of water. It was an old, cracked mug, but she'd had it since she was a baby, and it was her favourite. She wrinkled her nose at the plate of stewed cabbage before her. "_Yuck."_

"_I know you don't like it, sweetheart, but there's nothing else. The turnips will be grown soon, then we'll have a change," _Sachery tried to cheer her up, but the exasperation in his voice was apparent. "_There's strawberries, too."_

Cobi's face lit up. _"How long till we can eat them?" _She asked eagerly.

"_Just a couple of weeks, be PATIENT,"_ Sachery sighed. "_Now, eat your tea."_

"_Yes, Daddy," _Cobi said obediently. She picked up a thin, mushy leaf of cabbage with her chopsticks and frowned disdainfully at it, as if it had some terrible disease. Slowly she brought it to her lips- but before she could take a bite, there was a knock at the door.

Sahra and Sachery looked at each other. "_Who could that be at this hour?"_ There was another series of knocks, this time louder and more urgent. Sahra sighed, getting to her feet.

The door was practically being hammered off its hinges as Sahra hustled over. "_Patience is a virtue..."_ She muttered under her breath. Then she opened the door. She was met with black uniforms and grave stares. "_Oh... what can I do for you, sir?"_ She recognised the badge pinned to the uniform of one of the men- and he was a Sech captain.

"_My name is Captain Jiao Spier, and these are my soldiers, Erika Spier, Lin Sotao, Simian Amadas and Granger Keiger, " _the first man announced, gesturing in turn to a young girl in her teens, a tall woman with pale skin, a bushy-haired man and a man who was built like a steamroller. "_Are you Mrs Sahra Stobes?"_

Sahra nodded. "_Yes, I am. Can I help you, sir?"_

"_Perhaps,"_ Captain Spier said, pushing past her and marching right into the house. His soldiers followed him and promptly began searching the place. Sahra stood, confused. Sachery had joined her side, and Cobi was blinking in bewilderment from where she sat at the table.

"_You see, I've had word that there are two fugitives in the area. Resistance soldiers, no less. You wouldn't happen to know anything about that, would you?"_ Captain Spier asked coldly, stepping forward to tower over Sahra and Sachery.

Sahra grasped her husband's hand behind her back. "_No, sir," _she said.

"_No? Well, that poses a bit of a problem. You see, if you don't know anything, what am I going to do with the eleven letters of information that tell me you're keeping them here?" _Captain Spier said quietly. His eyes were narrowed and sparking with adrenaline. Sahra had seen his sort before. The sort that got pleasure out of other people's fear. And they were dangerous.

"_I'm going to give you one chance to confess. If you do, I might spare you some mercy. Maybe."_ Spier smiled cruelly. "_So, what'll it be? Two men, one of them injured, in Resistance uniforms and speaking Noradian. Are they, or were they, here?"_

Sahra looked him straight in the eye, and said, without faltering, "_No, sir. Never."_

"_Mummy, what's going on?"_ Cobi shuffled in between her parents for safety, one hand clutching her mother's sleeve. She was looking from one Sech soldier to another, blinking rapidly as if she thought they would disappear into thin air before her eyes.

"_Nothing Cobi, just go back into the kitchen," _Sachery said warily, his eyes never leaving the Sech captain before him.

"_Wait," _Spier raised his voice slightly. He beckoned Cobi towards him with his forefinger. "_Come here... Cobi."_

Cobi looked up to her mum and dad for help, then shook her head. Out of the corner of his eye, Sachery saw the pale-skinned woman- Lin- move her hand to rest against her gun. He laid his own hand on Cobi's shoulder, and nodded down at her.

"_Do as he says, Cobi," _he said quietly.

Cobi edged forward fearfully, staring up at the huge man who stood in front of her. Jiao Spier squatted down so that he knelt level with her. He smiled.

"_Hello young lady_. _I've been hearing a lot about you lately," _he said friendlily. Cobi smiled nervously at him. "_Now, your friends at school tell me that you've made two new friends, am I right?"_

Sahra's and Sachery's eyes widened, but Cobi, with her back to her parents, didn't notice. She nodded. "_Yes. How did you know?"_

Jiao smirked triumphantly. "_I know a lot of things, Cobi. But you know, I would like to know a bit more about these friends of yours. They were... two men, right?"_ He said coaxingly.

Cobi nodded again. _"Yes, Rag-na and Zav-yah. They saved me and Mummy, and Zav-yah gave me a lovely hairstyle, too! I took care of him but he didn't like our rice. I didn't want him to leave, though."_

"_So they were here? These Zav-yah and Rag-na?" _Jiao double-checked.

"_Yep. They left a few days ago. They were staying here because Zav-yah was hurt. A bad man tried to kill him," _Cobi gushed. "_I love Rag-na and Zav-yah very much. I'd like to marry a man like them one day."_

Jiao let out a short burst of laughter. "_I'm sure you will," _he said, patting Cobi on the head affectionately. "_One more thing, Cobi. Rag-na and Zav-yah... What colour clothes were they wearing, do you remember?"_

Cobi smiled proudly. "_Of course I remember. They were green. Dark green."_

Jiao smiled softly. "_Thank you, Cobi, that's all I needed to hear."_ He stood up and looked Sachery and Sahra square in the eye, fire and ice dancing in his eyes. "_Well, well, well," _he whispered, a wicked smile playing at the corners of his mouth.

"_Sir, she's young," _Sachery struggled to explain._ "She's making it up, she doesn't know-"_

"_QUIET!"_ Jiao roared, shouting for the first time. He stormed over to Sahra and Sachery. "_You lied to me. You told me they weren't here and they were. You betrayed the Sech Empire by housing our enemies. Who knows, perhaps they've indoctrinated you, too. I wouldn't be surprised." _He narrowed his eyes furiously, almost nose-to-nose with Sachery.

"_I would never," _Sachery said slowly but shakily. "_We've told you once, and we'll tell you again. They weren't here."_

"_Captain," _the wild-haired man appeared from the spare room. And he was holding something crumpled and green. He tossed it to Jiao, who caught it in one hand. He slowly unfolded it. Sahra gasped, and Sachery held her hand tighter. Cobi looked back at her parents in confusion, then back to the Sech soldiers. Jiao was smiling at the object in his hand.

It was Zavier's jacket.

"_What's this?" _Jiao asked- though he already knew what it was. He raised his eyebrows pointedly at Sahra and Sachery and grinned. "_Now... What were you saying about them not being here?"_

Sachery's mouth opened and closed ineffectively, unable to form any words. He didn't even notice Sahra's hand slip from his as she stepped forward.

"_It was me," _she whispered._ "I took them in, and I told people about them. It was all me."_

Jiao rolled his eyes and sighed. "_Oh really? That's not what I heard. You see, all the people who wrote those letters had something in common. They all had children who attended the Salazaar local Primary School. Incidentally, that's the same school you attend, isn't it Cobi?"_

Cobi faltered at the darkness that Jiao was emitting, then nodded.

Jiao smiled in acknowledgement. "_I see." _He paused. He shot a look at his soldiers, then placed his large had on Cobi's tiny shoulder and said, "_Could you come with me, please, Cobi?"_

Sahra began to shake her head, slowly at first, then faster and faster. _"No,"_ she whispered, her breathing erratic. "_Please, no."_

Jiao grasped Cobi's wrist and began to lead her away. Cobi struggled and pulled back. "_Mummy!"_

"_Cobi!" _Sahra hurled herself at Jiao, screaming, trying frantically to snatch Cobi from his hands. Jiao jerked Cobi away, causing her to howl in pain. Then he slapped Sahra roughly across her face.

"_Restrain her!" _He bellowed furiously.

Lin's hand moved to touch the barrel of her gun again, and quickly Sachery leapt forward and seized Sahra by the waist, hoisting her backwards away from Jiao- and Cobi.

"_No!" _Sahra screamed. "_No, let me go! My baby! My baby!"_ She fought against Sachery violently, but was so hysterical that all her strength had left her. Her voice had risen into continuous, gut-wrenching screams. Tears poured down her cheeks, but she wasn't the only one crying.

"_Please," _Sachery begged quietly, shaking his head, silent tears wet on his face. "_Please. Not my daughter. Not my daughter."_

"_Mummy? Daddy, what's wrong?" _Cobi asked, her voice rising in fear and confusion.

By now Sahra was crying too much even to fight against her husband, and was sobbing hysterically onto his shoulder, hitting at him feebly with her weakened fists. Sachery was stood completely still, a look of hopelessness on his face as he stared at the Sech soldiers, whose hands were laid readily on their guns.

"_Cobi, sweetheart," _Sachery whispered. "_You're going to go with this man now, okay?"_

Cobi frowned in puzzlement. She looked up at the man who towered over her, his heavy hand fastened on her wrist. He gave a slight tug in the direction on the door, and Cobi began to walk along with him. On the way out, Jiao gave a small nod to the young girl, Erika, who silently flicked the safety catch off her gun and followed after them. Lin, Granger and Simian stayed behind, weapons poised, surrounding Sachery and Sahra.

Sahra started shrieking again, her body going limp against her husband's. At the same time Sachery's legs gave way beneath him, and the two of them crumpled to the ground, holding onto each other and crying.

And as Sahra wailed into his chest, Sachery could only watch helplessly as Jiao led his daughter outside.

--

**I was going to go on, but I just couldn't bring myself to. Plus I thought it would be more effective if I just left it here. We all know what happens anyway. I know Sachery must be a little hard to understand here, but he knew that no matter what he did, it wouldn't change the outcome. I really tried to get that feeling of helplessness across.**

**And yep, Raguna gave Zavier a 'hickey'!**


	10. Dreaming

Zavier felt a wave of dread wash over him when Raguna announced that they ought to stop for the day, even though they had been walking for hours and hadn't stopped even to eat. Despite the fact that he was soaked in sweat and he was tired and his feet were bleeding as they rubbed uncomfortably against his boots and his side was killing him- he didn't want to stop. He couldn't bear the distant, awkward feeling between them.

He had rubbed and scratched at his neck all day, horribly aware of the dark purple bruise caused by Raguna's teeth. It tingled constantly against his skin so he couldn't forget about it, no matter how hard he tried. He wanted to wash it off, to tear it away. He didn't want it on his body, reminding him.

He heard Raguna sigh and the clunk of the small metal cooking pot as he dropped it down on the ground.

"We're out of rice," he said.

Zavier looked at him properly, a panicked frown on his face. "But... We've only been going for three days!" He spluttered incredulously. "We can't be out of food yet!"

Raguna held out the small sack that Sahra had given them. Once half full with rice, it was now limp with air. Raguna raised his eyebrows as if to say 'See?' He sighed.

"There's a little bit left. About half a bowlful, maybe less," he tossed the sack to Zavier, who only just managed to catch it before it hit the ground. "You have it."

Zavier stared at the sack in his hand, and the tiny amount of food left in it. Then he shook his head.

"No, thank you," he said plainly. He offered the sack back to Raguna. "You can have it."

"Zavier, you haven't eaten since yesterday," Raguna said sharply, looking away as Zavier flinched at the sound of his name. He pushed Zavier's hands away. He hated having to touch him, but for some reason his hands lingered on Zavier's for a little longer than they needed to.

"I'm not hungry." As if on cue, Zavier's stomach let out a low growl of protest. He quickly covered his belly with both hands, his head bowed.

"We won't get far if you're too hungry to walk, soldier," Raguna pointed out, and Zavier had to agree. But he had thrown his breakfast away of his own accord, and he had wasted the food that was so needed. He couldn't eat this, and let Raguna have nothing, after how he had acted. It wasn't right.

"I can't, Lieutenant. I... My behaviour this morning is the c-cause of this," he said slowly, carefully thinking out every word in advance.

Raguna sighed. "And what good is punishing yourself going to do anyone?" He asked.

Zavier paused, thinking for a moment. Then he rolled his eyes in defeat. "None," he admitted. He knelt down to pick up the cooking pot. "I will have this rice," he said. "It's mine, but I'm going to share it with you. You're going to have half, and I'm going to have half. Okay?"

Raguna looked at him for a moment, then smiled and shrugged, knowing he couldn't win. They ate together in silence. The food was bland and only enough to tease their appetite, not satisfy it, and the heat and exhaustion were beginning to take their tolls. But, every so often Raguna would catch Zavier's eye or vice versa, and one of them would smile. Then they would look away quickly, at the sky or the trees or the meagre meal before them. And that was okay. Because somehow it made everything less awkward, less suspicious. It was a slow process of forgiving each other- and forgiving themselves.

It was only when the food was gone, and the heat fading, that worry began to set in.

"How long till we reach the camp... Raguna?" Zavier dared to ask. It didn't feel so strange calling him by his name any more. It was almost like normal. Almost.

Raguna had a pained expression on his face. "Over a week," he murmured.

Zavier smiled tiredly. "Great. We don't have to wait until we die of heat exhaustion, because we're going to starve to death instead," he said. He exhaled deeply and leaned his head back.

"We're not going to starve to death," Raguna stated pointedly. He sighed. "Listen, there's got to be _something _we can eat growing around here. Back in Kardia, we learned to live off the land; we'll have to do the same here. We'll be okay. We _will."_

Zavier raised an eyebrow. "So we're going to poison ourselves too?"

"Zavier!" Raguna let out his name as a cry of frustration.

"It's okay! I was joking." Zavier held up his hands defensively. "What, you thought I was just going to give up and die? As if!" He stuck his chin in the air, a confident grin on his face, and Raguna chuckled.

Zavier pulled off his boots, gasping in relief just to get them off his feet. He set them down beside him, with his helmet. Then he stood up.

"I'm going to the river," he said, stumbling awkwardly over the ground, which was littered with leaves and sharp twigs. "I need to wash." Though Zavier hated baths, he had to admit after a day of walking nonstop in the blistering heat, it did feel good.

He heard Raguna clear his throat nervously behind him. Had this been another time, he would have probably have gone with Zavier, and they would have bathed together, like they had done the previous night. But this wasn't another time.

"Tell me when you're finished, all right?" He said.

Zavier sighed. Things weren't quite normal after all.

--

Raguna had lingered in the river for longer than he should have, reluctant to return to the tiny clearing where he and Zavier had pitched the tent. He didn't want to see Zavier.

Yes, he did.

No, he didn't. Everything about Zavier was confusing. Or maybe it was Raguna who was making it that way. Zavier was always so easy to understand; his expressions, no matter how hard he tried to mask them, always conveying his emotions so honestly. What was confusing was his effect on Raguna. Nobody, not even Mist, had made him lose control like that before.

Sighing in defeat, Raguna quickly pulled his clothes over his still-wet body and trudged back up the riverbank.

The clearing where they had set up camp was smaller than the one before, and the tent was squashed up against a large tree that protruded from the centre of the circular clearing. He wished there was more space. The sheer denseness of the forest was suffocating.

He sat down on the ground and looked up at the blanket of leaves that covered them. Through it he could see the sky reddening as the sun began to set. It couldn't have been that late, only about six or seven, but already Zavier was yawning, and Raguna himself was beginning to feel the weight of exhaustion pressing down on him. They had been walking for so long with little food to sustain them, and neither had gotten a good sleep the previous night.

"You're tired, aren't you?" Raguna asked. "I am too. You want to turn in for the day?"

"No," Zavier answered immediately. Then, "Yes." And, not even bothering to stand up and brush himself off, he crawled across the ground and practically fell into the tent.

Raguna couldn't help but laugh a little at Zavier's feet sticking out of the entrance to the tent. He almost moved to follow him, but then stopped himself. He still couldn't trust himself. So, he lay down on the ground. The sharp twigs poked into his back, but he didn't care. He shuffled across the ground slightly so that his head rested on a tree root that had broken free of the soil.

"Hey," he heard Zavier's sleepy, muffled voice murmur. "What're you doing?"

"I... I think I'll sleep out here tonight," Raguna said quietly, looking up through the trees.

"Idiot. You'll freeze," Zavier grumbled, and for a moment Raguna wondered if he was going to forcefully drag him inside the tent, but seconds later he heard Zavier shuffling under the sleeping bag and beginning to snore lightly.

Raguna smiled humourlessly to himself, then shifted onto his side and settle down to sleep.

--

When Raguna woke up the light was already dancing across the floor in playful beams from the window. He could feel the warmth of Mist's sleeping body pressed against his back; and though he couldn't see her, he could hear Poppy singing a breathy 'The Kingfisher' as she slept.

Raguna closed his eyes in pain and buried his head into his pillow. He had lived this morning so many times before.

"Mmm..." He felt a tug at the bedcovers and a slight dip in the mattress as Mist turned over, waking up. "Raguna... It's your day off today, isn't it?" She asked sleepily.

Raguna wanted to say no. To say he had work to do, and sorry, they couldn't go out today. But, of course, he didn't. He said the same thing he had said one thousand times before.

"Yeah."

"I was thinking... we could take Poppy out for a picnic," Mist murmured, yawning. She turned back over to face Raguna's back and wrapped an arm around him. "Hm?" She added questioningly.

Raguna touched her arm and raised and turned his head to look at her. But he wasn't met with the bright blue eyes he longed to remember. Instead, Mist's face was sickly and pallid, her eyes bloodshot and sunken into her thin face, a trickle of blood tracing from her thin, white lips.

Raguna turned around properly to face her. "Yeah, good idea," he whispered. "We could go down that bridleway just by Misty Bloom Cave." Tears of frustration filled his eyes. If only, if only, he could say somewhere else.

Mist smiled, and more of the scarlet liquid oozed between her teeth and dripped from her lips. She leaned forward and kissed Raguna lovingly, forcing him to taste her blood. The blood he'd caused to spill.

Mist sighed and sat up, swinging her legs around and jumping out of bed, hopping around to keep warm. It was only early autumn, but the mornings were always cold. The hopping caused the red patches on her nightgown to spread, and droplets of blood fell to the floor in a crimson downpour.

"Poppy! Wake up, silly sausage!" She sang, and Raguna could hear her skipping over to Poppy's bedroom and opening the door. "We're going for a picnic!"

Raguna got out of bed, not bothering to tidy the sheets. They could always do that when they got back. He looked up to see Poppy emerging from her bedroom, clutching her teddy bear in her arms and rubbing her tired eyes, her hair sticking out around her head like a brown, curly mane. Her throat was hacked open. Blood drenched her pyjamas.

"Morning, Daddy," she muttered tiredly.

"Get dressed; chop, chop!" Mist urged, clapping her hands. She was already dressed. Raguna shook his head in amazement. Mist always went at her own pace- and often that pace could be dangerously fast. She began rooting through the fridge and pantry.

"Not tomato seeds again, okay Mist?" Raguna said jokingly, and Mist playfully threw a packet of said seeds at his head, sending a spray of blood spattering across the floor and bed.

Raguna quickly pulled him own clothes on and helped Poppy fasten the clips of her dungarees as Mist attacked her head with a hairbrush. Poppy wailed in protest, her head lolling alarmingly as the huge tear in her neck split even further.

Mist swung open the door of their house "I hope it's not too cold."

The doorway opened out into oblivion. Endless, endless darkness spreading out as far as the eye could see. There was no breeze, no heat, no cold emitting from the darkness. Just nothing. Nothing.

"Oh good; it's a lovely day!" Mist exclaimed happily. She stepped out into the blackness, twirling round and round and raising her arms into the air in a stretch. She inhaled deeply, the morning air waking her up.

Poppy smiled up at Raguna. If only he could grab her and pull her back. But his arms felt as heavy as lead and he couldn't stop her running outside after her mother, into oblivion.

"Ohh, it's cold!" She said, jumping up and down and rubbing her arms exaggeratedly. "Come on Daddy! Come and feel- its _freezing!"_ She beckoned Raguna with a wave of her arm.

"No it _isn't!"_ Mist insisted. "Tell her, Raguna!" She also waved a hand at him.

Raguna wanted to go with them. He wanted so much just to step into the darkness with his family and never look back. But he couldn't. His feet were rooted to the spot. He couldn't move, and Mist and Poppy were slowly moving further and further away, fading into the distance. He held out his hands to them desperately as if trying to hold onto them, but he could feel them slipping from his grasp as the blackness clouded their features.

They were leaving. And Raguna knew they were never coming back. He couldn't bear it. He wanted them so much. He started whispering their names, repeating them over and over. The whispers grew louder and higher, until he was shouting, crying, screaming for them. And then just screaming. Screaming and screaming...

And then he felt strong hands grasped his shoulders, sharp fingers digging into his skin and shaking him roughly, and he heard a voice yelling.

"Wake up! Wake up, Raguna!"

Raguna's eyes snapped open and he awoke with a gasp. The cold night air was biting his flesh and branches were piercing his back where he lay and through the darkness he could see Zavier's face, wild and afraid.

He was still screaming. He couldn't stop, not for Zavier, not for anyone. Eventually the hands that tightly gripped his shoulders loosened, and arms wrapped around him, pulling him close, protecting him.

Raguna cried into Zavier's chest, raising his arms to cling to him desperately, his body shaking with each racking sob. He let Zavier comfort him awkwardly, stroking his hair that was sticking to his forehead with sweat out of his eyes and whispering panicked reassurances.

"It's okay. It was just a dream. It's okay."

But it wasn't okay. It wasn't just a dream. It was real. Raguna started shrieking again, his tears soaking Zavier's shirt. He felt Zavier hide his face in his hair. Against the top of his head and in his arms, Raguna could feel him beginning to tremble.

"Please... Raguna, please stop," he begged.

And slowly, Raguna felt his voice leaving him and he was unable to scream any more. He felt his body relaxing, and he leaned against Zavier, still sobbing softly. Zavier's hand rubbed his back, calming him. He closed his eyes, trying to focus only on Zavier and forget everything else. And after a while his mind began to drift, and his body began to numb and eventually he slipped away.

--

**I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I haven't updated in so long! I had major writer's block on what to write for Raguna's dream, and this chapter had been sitting in my computer for about a month before I worked it out.**

**I suppose his dream might not make much sense at the moment, but more will be revealed as the story progresses. I tried not to make it **_**too **_**mysterious though, so perhaps you can figure it out!**

**Reviews are greatly appreciated, and are all replied to, of course! Thank you for reading, and hopefully I'll get to update soon. Don't get your hopes up too high, though, as we're entering exam season right now! But I'll do my best.**


	11. The Chase Is On

**I can't believe I did this, but on one of my 'All's Fair' stories (I have one in the Harvest Moon category and one in the Rune Factory category) I accidentally posted the same chapter twice! I'm such a moron.**

--

The first thing Zavier noticed when he woke up was that he was hurting all over. Sharp twigs and stones dug uncomfortably into his back, his skin was cold and beaded with morning dew, and the rising sun that trickled through the leaves stung his eyes. His head was throbbing. He was hungry. He wanted to be sick.

He jumped in surprise when he felt something shift against him, and he blinked the sleep from his eyes to find Raguna pressed against his chest. Zavier was still holding him, and he realised for the first time that his arms had turned numb. He remembered the events of last night, and how Raguna had cried to him so openly. Zavier felt the heat rising to his cheeks. He frowned and pushed Raguna's sleeping body away from him. Why was _he _getting embarrassed?

Raguna stirred and shuffled closer to Zavier, trying to regain his hold on him.

"Hey!" Zavier shook Raguna hard. "Stop that! Wake up."

Raguna murmured incoherently and his eyes fluttered open. He smiled weakly at Zavier. Dark circles surrounded his eyes, which were bloodshot and huge in his pasty white face. He raised a shaky hand and stroked Zavier's cheek, his freezing fingertips sticky on his skin.

Zavier raised his own hands to move Raguna's from his face, and Raguna twisted his hand around and threaded their fingers together. Zavier swallowed, his mouth suddenly dry.

"Thanks, Zav," Raguna whispered hoarsely. Zavier scowled and snatched his hand away and shoved Raguna away from him, wondering why he hadn't done so sooner. Raguna grinned and pushed him back, and they ended up having a half-hearted fight, rolling over and over on the ground and laughing.

They collapsed against each other, breathless, their smiles fading.

"What are we going to do, Raguna?" Zavier whispered.

Raguna was silent for a moment. Then, "I don't know," he whispered back.

Zavier closed his eyes resignedly. He had a feeling that Raguna was going to say that. He rubbed his stomach longingly. "I'm starving."

Raguna nodded. "Me too." He leaned his head against Zavier's shoulder.

Zavier let out a decisive sigh. "Well then," he announced, "we'd better find something to eat!" And he pushed Raguna away and struggled to his feet, rubbing his aching muscles and hissing in annoyance at his obvious pain. He carefully untangled the twigs from his hair. "C'mon, Raguna!" He urged. "Get up, you lazy sod!"

Raguna grinned at him, and he grinned back.

But each knew that the other's smile had faded as soon as the turned their back.

--

Jiao squatted down low to the ground, wiping the sweat from his brow. He placed one palm against the ground and rubbed his temple with his other hand, sighing. He _knew_ they were on the right track. The Norads occupied the land further north, so they were likely to be heading in that direction. And because they would need food and water, they would probably choose to follow the river. If they didn't, Mother Nature would so the work for him, and the two would be dead within a week.

"_They were here,"_ he announced suddenly to his subordinates. Erika inwardly rolled her eyes. She didn't believe a word of what he just said. Jiao was one who always liked to be in charge, and everyone would have to jump at his every word. He would never admit that he was clueless.

"_Are you sure?"_ She asked, but before Jiao got a chance to reply, Lin spoke up.

"_Captain! Over here, look."_

Jiao shuffled over to her on his hands and knees, not bothering to get up from his squatted position on the ground. He glowered up at Lin. Even at such a low level, he seemed to tower over the rest of the team, huge and hissing, like a bull. "_What is is?"_ He grunted.

Lin joined him on the ground, pointing to the dirt beneath them. "_Blood, sir,"_ she stated, and Jiao tensed. He leaned forward even further, his nose just inches from the ground, examining the faint brownish stain that had been faded with the rain. He touched it.

"_Dry,"_ he said. "_But it can't have been here for more than a few days. The rain would've washed it away."_ He spotted something glinting in the sunlight by a fallen tree. He reached out and picked it up. It was a needle, with the bloodstained thread still attached. He held it up. "_Look."_

Beneath his wild mop of hair, Simian grinned. "_Um, no offence Captain, but how is that any use to us?"_ he asked cheekily. Jiao glared at him.

"_Don't take that tone with me, soldier, or I'll have you bumped back down to scrubbing toilets before you can say Bob's your uncle," _he snapped. "_Listen, we know that one of these guys in injured, right? And they're likely to be heading in this direction, by this route. So there's a high chance that this blood belongs to one of them."_ Simian nodded in understanding. "_And," _Jiao went on, "_not only do we now know that we're on the right track, but-"_

"_They can't be more than a couple of days ahead of us,"_ Erika finished for him.

"_Exactly." _Jiao nodded in approval. He'd trained his sister well. He stood up and took a deep, refreshing breath. "_All right, men, time to pick up the pace. We know that one is injured, so if the other doesn't ditch him, they'll be going slowly. We should be able to catch them in a few days._"

His team saluted, and he clapped his hands impatiently. "_Well, what are you still standing around for? Move it out, men, move, move! We've got fugitives to catch."_

--

Sahra sat limply at her kitchen table, staring into space. Her skin was pale and pallid, and her eyes were red and bloodshot, but her tears had long since dried up. She had not spoken a word or found it in herself to do _anything_ since the previous day. Cobi's boiled cabbage still lay uneaten on the tabletop. Every time Sahra looked at it, she felt her heart break all over again.

Whilst Sahra had been quite unable to comprehend with anything since the incident, Sachery had been quite lively. He didn't stop moving, for he knew he would surely die of grief if he did. After Jiao and the other Sechs had gone, he'd taken a shovel and walked outside in silence, and was out there all the rest of the day. Currently his was pacing around the house; fumbling with his clothes and rooting through cupboards with unnecessary fuss and clatter.

Sahra looked up at her husband with glazed eyes. She saw he was dressed in his work clothes and air raid helmet. He had Zavier's jacket shrugged over his shoulders, though it was at least two sizes too small. He didn't look at her.

"_What are you doing?"_ She murmured croakily, her first words in more than a day.

Sachery straightened his helmet and fastened the strap under his chin. "_I'm joining The Resistance,"_ he said.

--

**And there you have it! Ugh, I'm so sorry that I didn't update sooner. Exams are leaping all over me so much that I've become a trampoline for the little guys.**

**I think this is likely to be the last you'll see of Sahra and Sachery- though as I wrote that sentence, I immediately got an idea for a later appearance of Sachery, so I don't know!**

**So now we know that Jiao and his team are on Raguna and Zavier's trail. But Raguna and Zavier don't! I want to shout at them 'Hurry up, you fools!', because I don't want them to get caught!  
**

**Please read and review, and thank you!**


	12. It's Okay To Pretend

**I'm happy that the gap between updates had decreased! Anyway, please enjoy, and don't forget to review at the end (if you have the time, of course!).**

--

Raguna and Zavier had been walking for nearly two hours now, and Raguna got the feeling that they had travelled little over two miles. Both were exhausted and hungry, despite the food they had managed to scavenge from that morning. Zavier was limping worse than ever, and Raguna worried that his wound might have become infected due to the blistering heat and humidity. But at that moment, he couldn't his spare worry for Zavier.

He kept vomiting. About every half hour he would have to lean against a tree and empty the contents of his stomach over the ground, his face as white as a sheet and his hair sticking to his forehead with cold sweat. Zavier rubbed his back comfortingly and tried to make it into a joke, but the fear was apparent in his voice. If Raguna fell ill out here, then it was almost certain that he would die.

Raguna winced as his belly clenched in on itself. He had long ago puked up whatever little food was in his stomach, but his body kept trying to vomit anyway, causing his insides to cramp and the bitter taste of bile to fill his mouth.

"You wanna stop for a bit?" Zavier whispered.

"I'm okay," Raguna replied breathlessly, though he was feeling dizzy and looked as if he was about to faint at any moment. "You? You're limping."

"Hey, if you can keep going, so can I!" Zavier tried to grin, but his brow stayed wrinkled with worry. He leaned against a tree and wiped his hands on his shirt. "Raguna, seriously, you look like death. You gotta stop, man."

Raguna said nothing, but joined Zavier, leaning against the tree. Then he slid to the ground, and set his head against his knees, breathing heavily. Zavier knelt down beside him, but Raguna did not acknowledge his presence as he continued his rhythmic breathing pattern. In... Out... In... Out...

Uncertain, Zavier placed his hand on Raguna's neck and began rubbing slowly, providing the little comfort he could. He hated how little he could do. It was always the same. He could never make a difference. He couldn't help Raguna.

Eventually, Raguna leaned his head back and sighed. The colour had returned to his face. He turned to Zavier and smiled weakly. "I feel better now," he said. Physically, at least. The shock of his nightmare was still fresh in his mind and old wounds had been opened up.

Mist. He still loved her. He still loved her so much. But he was beginning to feel that he was no longer _in _love with her. And it scared him, more than anything else in the world. He had always sworn to himself that he loved Mist, and only Mist. She was his first love, and she would be his last. He was sure of it. He had to stay faithful to her; his dear, departed wife.

If only he could hold her in his arms again and kiss her again and love her again and _prove_ to himself that she still meant everything to him. But he couldn't, because she was Mist and Mist was dead.

He couldn't hold Mist in his arms and feel the warmth of her body against him. Mist wasn't there.

But somebody else was.

Raguna's hands rose of their own accord to cup Zavier's face. He saw Zavier's eyes widen and heard him swallow, but he did not pull away. Raguna stroked his thumbs over his freckled cheeks for a few moment, gazing at him sadly, his eyes begging for forgiveness. Then he kissed him.

Raguna closed his eyes and focused solely on the pair of lips pressed against his. He shut out everything else- the sweltering heat and the rush of the river and especially Zavier. He had to ignore the feathery hair that brushed against his forehead and the strong hands that suddenly grasped his arms and the earthy scent that hovered right in front of him, tickling his nostrils. All he had to pay attention to was the warmth of the skin under his hands and the lips on his.

And maybe, just for a moment, he could pretend it was Mist he was kissing.

He was brought to his senses by a strong shove to his chest. He toppled backwards and landed unceremoniously in his back on the ground. Propping himself up using his elbows, he was suddenly filled with regret.

Now that his eyes were open, he could see everything. He could see that it was clearly Zavier that he had kissed. Not Mist. He didn't want it to be that way. It wasn't supposed to be that way. He had simply _used_ Zavier, as a substitute for her.

He was a detestable man.

Zavier wiped his lips furiously and spat on the ground next to him. "Raguna!" He shouted angrily. "What the Hell?" He seized Raguna by the collar of his jacket and shook him roughly. "Why did you do that?"

Raguna kissed him again. It wasn't his fault. He couldn't stop. He had to kiss Mist and convince himself he still loved her. He _did_ still love her. And he didn't want to stop loving her.

So Zavier would have to be Mist for just a little while.

"Raguna, stop!" Zavier yelled. His face had turned a deep crimson. "You stink of puke. I said stop! Mmn...!" His cries were silenced by Raguna pressing his lips roughly against him. Zavier struggled and tried to pull away, but Raguna caught his chin in one hand and jerked his head back, his other hand sliding around his waist to pull him close and stop him escaping.

And after a while, Zavier stopped struggling. His anger faded and his resistance weakened, and eventually he relaxed against Raguna. His body, sapped of strength, grew limp and he had to lean against Raguna for support. His mind clouded and his eyes slowly began to close as he gave in to the kiss and allowed Raguna's tongue to explore his mouth.

Raguna pulled away with his eyes still closed. He didn't want to open them and have to accept that the person he had been kissing so passionately wasn't Mist.

And then Zavier punched him.

Raguna was knocked back, he head snapped to one side with the force of Zavier's punch. He didn't raise his hand to rub his throbbing jaw, but he gingerly poked out his tongue to feel his bleeding lip. He took a deep breath.

"You're an _idiot,"_ he heard Zavier hiss. His voice was shaky and he breathing was shallow and ragged.

"I know," Raguna whispered without looking up at him.

And he gripped Zavier's chin and leaned in to kiss him again. This time, Zavier didn't fight against it or push him away- but he didn't kiss him back, either.

And that was okay.

Everything would be okay.

As long as he kept his eyes closed.

--

**This is a really short chapter, I know, but it just felt right to end it here.**

**I'm close to hating Raguna in this chapter, and I'm sure a lot of you are too. I understand he's been badly affected by Mist's death, but that doesn't give him the right to use Zavier like that! Grrr...**

**On another note, though, I am growing increasingly worried about the two of them, which is quite ridiculous seeing as I'm the writer! But there's so much danger out there... I'd say at the moment their chance of survival is about twenty-to-thirty per cent. Which isn't that high when you think about it. It's made even more worrying by the fact that it's going to get worse!**

**Please review, I love to hear your comments on my stories! They're really inspiring.**

**Thank you very much for reading!**


	13. Day Off

The following morning, Raguna and Zavier slept in. Perhaps it was the exhaustion of the previous days finally overwhelming them- they slept well into the afternoon, which was made obvious by the sun's position high in the sky. Zavier made a great fuss about it.

"What the hell! Raguna, why didn't you wake me up?" he snapped angrily, frowning up at the midday sky with his hands on his hips. He turned to glare accusingly at Raguna, who promptly staggered behind a tree and vomited.

Immediately Zavier's anger faded and he wandered over to Raguna. He didn't touch him.

"I... I'll go and get us something to eat, all right?" He said worriedly. "You stay here, make a fire or something."

Raguna smiled weakly at him. "Thanks, Zav," he mumbled. He reached out to touch Zavier's hand, and Zavier flinched away.

"Don't," he whispered. There followed an awkward pause. Then Zavier turned and limped towards the river without another word, scooping up their backpack on his way.

Raguna sigh and flopped down on the ground, grazing his ankle in the process. He barely noticed the small trickle of blood dripping down his foot. His stomach was in knots, and not just because of the sickness. He had treated Zavier so badly and yet he was being so nice to him. It made him feel horribly guilty. The feeling of there being a heavy weight in his belly wasn't eased by the fact that he knew that he would kiss Zavier again that day. No matter how much his heart ached to do so, to pretend that Zavier was Mist for his own selfish wishes, his body couldn't stop. He felt some comfort in that, however. Surely it meant that he was still truly in love with Mist.

He took his flask from his belt and washed his mouth out thoroughly, doing his best to get rid of the taste of vomit. He felt bile crawling back up in his throat but he forced it back down. He had to keep as much food inside him as he could.

He picked up a few twigs and threw them carelessly onto the burnt-out ashes of the previous night's fire. Then he set about finding some better sticks. It was preferable to sitting around nursing his aching body and feeling sorry for himself.

By the time Zavier got back, over two hours later, the fire was roaring. Zavier sat down beside it gratefully. He was soaking wet from head to toe. His clothes were sticking to him and his hair was plastered to his scalp. Raguna shuffled over to him.

"What happened to you?" he asked.

Zavier grinned. His voice was shaking as he said "I said I'd get us something to eat didn't I?" He took from the rucksack a bundle of cloth, from which he unravelled a large trout, about the length of his forearm, hanging from the end of what looked like a fishing wire. He smirked at the amazed look on Raguna's face.

"So are we gonna cook it or just stare at it all day?" he asked.

"Cook it!" Raguna said enthusiastically. He quickly unhooked the fish from the knot in the wire and impaled it on a sharp twig, which he then set over the fire. It was the first good meal they'd had in what felt like an age, and tasted even better thanks to the taunting scent it gave off whilst being cooked. They ate in silence, too absorbed in the delight of finally eating something substantial to focus on anything else. Raguna was sure they must have looked terrible eating with their fingers and with such vigour, but he didn't care at all. Only when they had stripped the bones completely of flesh did it dawn on him.

"Where did you get the fishing wire?"

Instantly Zavier's cheeks turned red and he looked away, shamefaced. "Nowhere," he mumbled feebly.

Raguna's eyes fell on Zavier's injured side, which Zavier was holding conspicuously, and his eyes widened in realisation.

"You didn't," he whispered.

"I had to," Zavier replied.

"How could be so _stupid,_ Zavier?" Raguna cried, the pitch of his voice rising quickly. "You _need_ that thread to change your stitches. Didn't you listen to what Sahra said? Didn't you even _think_ that..." Raguna trailed off in his panic. Then he composed himself and turned to face Zavier fully. "Take off your shirt," he ordered.

"Wh-What?"

"Show me your side, Zavier. When did you last change your bandages?" Raguna said. Zavier didn't reply, nor move. His body jerked suddenly in surprise as Raguna hands took hold of his forearms.

"Let go of me," he muttered.

"No, I won't," Raguna replied plainly. His hands moved down behind Zavier's back and then quickly whipped his shirt over his head. Zavier tried to clamp his hands over his bandaged side, but Raguna caught his wrists and his strength failed him. He sat there limply as Raguna carefully unwrapped the bandages from around his body, wincing in pain as the dried blood that was stuck to them was pulled away in chunks. He gasped as the fresh air hit his raw wound.

He wasn't the only one who gasped.

"Oh God, Zavier..." Raguna whispered. Zavier twisted his neck as far away from Raguna as he could. He couldn't bring himself to look at him, more so his side. He didn't want to see how badly it had been bleeding, or how badly the blood had clotted. It might have been infected, it might not have been. He didn't want to know.

"Have you got any thread left?" Raguna asked shakily.

"No. I used it," Zavier said. He sounded like he was going to cry.

Raguna took a deep breath. "L-Lets change your bandages then. We'll clean you up a bit, maybe then..." He shook his head. He took his jacket off and trotted down to the river where his soaked the cleaner side of it. He refilled his flask, then hurried back to Zavier, who was still clutching his side and had his eyes shut tight.

Raguna knelt at his feet and dabbed gently at his side, pausing every now and then to wet the cloth again with the water from his flask. When he was finally finished Zavier's injury didn't look quite so bad. He quickly rummaged in the rucksack for the last of the bandages and wound them around Zavier's body. He rubbed over them bandages gently and smiled up at Zavier. His smile disappeared as Zavier looked down at him.

Zavier was crying.

"Raguna," he sobbed. "I want to go home."

Raguna stared at him, wide-eyed. He instinctively put his arms around him and hugged him close. Zavier pushed against him weakly before giving in and leaning against him, allowing Raguna to comfort him as he had done for Raguna barely a day ago. He bit his lip and stifled his sobs and eventually stopped crying. Raguna stroked his hair and guided his head to his shoulder.

"Maybe we should stay here today," Raguna suggested quietly. "We should just rest. Tomorrow we'll be stronger and we'll be able to walk further. Let's do that, okay?"

Zavier buried his face in Raguna's shoulder. "We're gonna die out here, aren't we," he whispered.

Raguna pulled away and stared at him, shaking his head. "Don't say that." He couldn't bear to hear Zavier say it, because he knew he could be right, and he was scared. He was scared and there was only one person he wanted- Mist.

And so he closed his eyes and kissed Zavier.

Zavier turned his head away and Raguna let him.

"Don't," Zavier whispered. He wasn't asking or demanding. A shiver ran through Raguna's body as he realised that he was simply _begging._ And Raguna couldn't bring himself to kiss him again.

Zavier took a deep breath and pulled away from Raguna. Standing up, he wiped his face and messed up his hair, jumping up and down a little.

"Okay," he breathed. "Okay, okay, okay..." He turned to glare at Raguna suddenly, opening and closing his mouth as if he knew what he wanted to say but couldn't fine the words. Eventually he settled on "Idiot!"- which made Raguna smile behind his back.

A few minutes passed in silence, and Raguna knew that Zavier had accepted that they would be staying put for the day. Raguna's stomach still ached, but he held onto the hope that he might be able to keep the fish down. But, after barely fifteen minutes had passed, his face turned pale again. He could feel his throat tightening and he knew he was going to be sick.

"Zavier," he managed to gasp out and he turned over onto his hands and knees, clutching his stomach. He heard Zavier walking over to him. Then he heard him curse and suddenly a hand was clamped over his mouth and an arm hooked around his waist.

"You are _not_ going to be sick!" Zavier shouted. "I spent two hours in that river; you are _not_ going to puke up all my hard work! You need the food, Raguna."

With Zavier's hand clapped firmly over his mouth, Raguna could only 'mmm' in agreement as sweat broke out on his brow and his vision blurred. He retched, and immediately the taste of bile filled his mouth.

"Swallow it," Zavier ordered angrily.

Raguna tried to shake his head. His eyes began to water, and he raised his arms to try and wrench Zavier's hand from across his face. Zavier pulled him back and placed his free hand over his mouth as well.

"Swallow it before you're sick again," Zavier said. "Please, Raguna."

Bracing himself, Raguna forced himself to swallow. Instantly his body tried to force it back up again, and it took all his strength to stop it.

"Done?"

Raguna nodded weakly and Zavier released him, letting him collapse forward on the ground, gasping and half-sobbing. Zavier sighed and covered his eyes with his hand.

"Could you at least give me some warning before you do that?" he asked. He was trying to sound casual, but Raguna could see he was shaken. His face was almost as white as his own.

"I'm sorry," Raguna said meekly, turning around and sitting crossed legged on the ground. "I don't get much of a warning myself. My stomach hurts all the time, so I can't tell when I'm going to be sick until just before it happens. I'm really sorry." And he sounded like he meant it.

Zavier took a gulp from the flask and then handed it over to Raguna, who gratefully took it and washed his mouth out for the second time that day.

"You okay?" Zavier asked quietly. "You looked like you were about to faint."

"Y-Yeah, I'm fine," Raguna said. He had to try his best to be brave for Zavier, as Zavier was being brave for him. He felt a sudden pressure on his forehead and looked up to see Zavier checking his temperature against his own with the back of his hand. He wasn't looking at Raguna as he did it.

"You're head's hot," Zavier stated quietly. Raguna sighed.

"That's because it's hot out here," he lied feebly. Then he shook his head. "Help me get to the tent, would you, Zav?" He held up his hand, shaking and white. Zavier took it in his own. Their eyes met for a moment and they shared a silent knowing in that they were both trembling. Limping, Zavier lead Raguna, who was stiff and struggling to walk, over to the tent.

Raguna flopped down gratefully inside on top of his sleeping bag. It was dreadfully hot inside the tent, but at least he could lie down comfortably inside.

"There," Zavier said quietly. Raguna smiled and squeezed the hand that he still held on to.

"Stay with me," he whispered hoarsely. He could tell by the slight dip in his throat that Zavier swallowed. He was anxious- which was understandable. Raguna let go of Zavier's hand and closed his eyes and let his head loll to one side. "Don't worry," he murmured sleepily. "I won't do anything."

There was a long pause and Raguna, who had his eyes closed, assumed that Zavier had left the tent. But then he heard a slight rustling just beside him and felt the warmth of another person against his arm. He smiled. Without opening his eyes, he turned onto his side and pulled Zavier against his chest, hugging him loosely and in such a way that Zavier could easily pull away if he wanted to.

But Zavier didn't pull away. He squirmed against Raguna, as if trying to get comfortable, for a moment before falling still. Raguna like feeling his breath tickling against his chest and the warmth of his body pulled against his.

"You said you wouldn't do anything," he heard Zavier mumble, and Raguna opened his eyes. He looked down to see that Zavier was hiding his face in his chest.

"I'm not," Raguna said innocently.

"Liar," Zavier said, and Raguna only hugged him tighter, hitching him up against him so that they were almost face-to-face. Zavier gasped. "Stop it!"

Raguna looked down to find Zavier glaring up at him with wide eyes and lips pursed together. His face was redder than a tomato. Raguna was almost surprised that steam wasn't fizzing off his head. The overall effect was so hilariously adorable that Raguna couldn't help it. He laughed.

He had never seen Zavier look more outraged than in that moment. His laughter was soon silenced as Zavier's knee was brought up strongly between his legs. He yelped in pain and retreated, gasping and rolling around on his back.

"How dare you laugh at me!" Zavier snapped furiously. He was sitting up now, and his fists were clenched as if he was considering punching Raguna too, just for good measure. "This is all a joke to you, isn't it! Well, it's not funny!" And his flung himself down and pulled his sleeping bag over his head. "You can hurl all day for all I care!"

"Zav, Zav, I'm sorry," Raguna said sheepishly, recovering from his pain.

"Yeah, well you should be," Zavier's muffled voice came from under the sleeping bag. Raguna snorted again and burst out laughing all over again. He couldn't help it. It felt so good to laugh after so long.

"What?!" Zavier demanded, throwing the sleeping bag off himself and sitting up. "What's wrong with you?"

"N-N-Nothing!" Raguna spluttered, trying in vain to calm himself down.

Zavier's glare slowly faded into a small, humiliated scowl. "It's my voice isn't it?" he said quietly.

"Eh?" Where did that come from? "No, of course not!"

"You think I _like_ talking like this, do you? Think it's funny?" Zavier said accusingly, his voice rising to an even higher pitch. "Well, how funny do you think it was for me when I was a kid, eh? I've spent every day since I turned thirteen putting up with Camus and Rosetta squeaking at me. I was sick of taking it from them, and I'm not going to take it from you, either! You stupid jerk!"

Raguna sat up, staring. "I-I wasn't... laughing at your voice..."

"You... you weren't?"

Raguna shook his head earnestly, and Zavier went bright red to the tips of his ears.

"Ah... well, uh... you can forget everything I just said, then," he muttered, looking away. Raguna smiled sympathetically.

"I like your voice. It suits you," Raguna said.

"Oh, _thanks,"_ Zavier said sarcastically. "So I _suit_ having a voice like a hamster, do I?"

Raguna laughed nervously, unsure of whether he was joking or not. "I didn't mean that. Anyway, at least you don't sound like everyone else, right...? I couldn't really imagine you speaking any other way. You sound like you."

"Whatever," Zavier grumbled, his back now turned fully to Raguna. "Like hell I'm gonna believe that crap." Raguna could see he was embarrassed. He weakened and put his arms around Zavier's shoulders.

"Enough with the hugging already!" Zavier cried- but he leaned back against Raguna and let his head rest against his shoulder. "Why are you doing this, Raguna?" he whispered.

And Raguna could only reply, "I don't know."

--

**I know it's been forever since I updated, and I'm sorry. I have two other much more popular stories, and I knew that more people were waiting for those than this one, and so I had to prioritise. That saddened me a little, because I have always harboured a love for this story. I love writing it, and I hope to do more of that. Sadly, I have chosen a bad time to do so, as I've just gone back to school after the holidays, and it's a very important year for me!**

**Zavier's weakening against Raguna's actions, which would worry me if I didn't already know what's going to happen! Raguna is still wound up over Mist, but if he's not careful Zavier will end up getting hurt. I just want him to realise that!**

**On another note, I've known since the beginning that I wanted to include a short conversation about Zavier's voice in this story. It **_**is**_** very squeaky... But I agree with Raguna- I like it!**


	14. Day and Night

Zavier waited until Raguna was soundly asleep before allowing his exhaustion to take him. He still couldn't trust himself to fall completely into unconsciousness- if Raguna was sick in his sleep, Zavier would have to be the one to wake him and stop him choking. He didn't want to leave Raguna to vomit and be unable to help. So, he just lay down on his uninjured left side and closed his eyes.

Despite the heat and uncomfortable ground beneath him, it was very difficult not to fall asleep. He sighed.

"Stupid Raguna," he muttered under his breath, and as if on cue, he felt an arm snake around his waist and a body pressing against his back.

Zavier held his breath. "Raguna? You awake?" he asked. He was answered solely with silence, and he took it as a 'no'. He quickly unhooked Raguna's arm from around him and sat up. He looked at Raguna.

Zavier was pleased to see that some of the colour had returned to Raguna's face and that his breathing was not nearly as ragged as it had been. Zavier brushed his knuckles against Raguna's cheek and pushed a few stray strands of dark hair behind his ear. He smiled.

Then he shook his head violently and snatched his hand away, cursing. He crawled out of the sweltering heat of the tent and out into the cooling evening air. He took a deep breath and rubbed his face angrily and messed up his hair.

He turned around to look back at Raguna inside the tent, scowling at his sleeping body. He'd be all right by himself for a minute or so, he decided, and with that he got up and limped the short distance towards the riverbank, consoling himself with the fact that if in the unlikely event Raguna _did_ start to choke, he'd easily be able to hear from where he was. The river wasn't far at all from where they had pitched the tent, and there was almost no noise so far out in the wild; only the occasional chirrup of a bird and the slow splashing of the water up against the riverbank.

Zavier settled down on the ground, brushing as many twigs and leaves out from under him as he could, and dangled his feet in the river. He gasped as the cold water hit his burning flesh, then relaxed and let the current gently massage his sores. He hated to admit it, but he really _should_ have listened when Raguna told him to wear socks. Of course, Raguna's feet were also blistered by now, though nowhere _near_ as badly as Zavier's.

He leaned back on his hands and then winced- he had forgotten the deep slash on his right palm. He cradled his right hand in his left while looking up at the sky. It had turned a deep blood red. Zavier had completely lost track of time a long time ago, but he knew night would be not far away. How long had he been lying in that tent for anyway? Surely, not all day? It hadn't seemed longer than an hour or two.

Zavier was tired. No, he was _exhausted._ So exhausted that he couldn't remember a time when he wasn't. It had been that way ever since he'd joined the Resistance. The commanding officers said it toughened them up, that pain was good, _necessary _even, in order to make them stronger. Zavier could never see the sense in that. If anything would make him stronger it would be a bed to sleep in. And a good meal. And treatment for his injuries. And being able to see his family, even just once.

He blinked furiously and bit his lip, angry at himself for getting carried away. If he kept on thinking like that he'd start crying again. He hadn't cried since he was a child, at most ten or eleven, but it seemed now that he was making up for lost time.

"Shit." He covered his eyes with his hand.

"Zavier? Are you okay?" A small, tired voice called from behind him.

Zavier jumped and hurriedly wiped his nose on the back of his hand and bowed his head so that Raguna couldn't see his face. "Yeah, I'm fine," he said. He turned around. Raguna was washed-out and drooping and there were dark, heavy circles around his eyes, but he was smiling. "You feeling better?"

"Much better, yeah," Raguna said. His voice was still whispery, and his body was obviously still half asleep. He sat down beside Zavier and hung his feet in the water too. He let out a sigh of relief. "Ahh..."

He frowned at Zavier. "You look terrible."

Zavier snorted. "Thanks! You should take at look at _yourself._"

Raguna just smiled. "Maybe."

Zavier and Raguna sat in silence as the sky slowly turned from blood red to a dark, velvety purple. The stars winked at them from between the leaves. Zavier's head began to nod at intervals, and eventually he gave in and let it loll heavily to one side. This threw his weakened body completely off balance, and he flopped against Raguna's shoulder. If Raguna minded he didn't show it. His arm slung gently over Zavier's shoulders to pull him into a more comfortable position. And slowly, Zavier's eyes began to close...

When he woke up it was pitch black and his feet had gone numb with the freezing water still rushing past them. He blinked a good few time to try to get his eyes used to the darkness, but the only light he had was from the countless stars and the face of the moon in the sky. The thing he was leaning on moved, and he almost panicked, but then he remembered. Raguna was still there, acting as his pillow, though his skin- Zavier could feel it- had turned icy cold.

Zavier felt a hand grip his- which hand been limp at his side up until that point- and pull it onto Raguna's lap. He felt Raguna run his thumb gently over his knuckles and he had to force his breath not to hitch. The thumb slid over his fingers, then turned his hand around and running softly over the bandages that wrapped around his palm. He linked their fingers together.

Probably because Raguna was a fighter, Zavier had never noticed before how much more delicate his hands were than his. His fingers were slender and tapered and felt very fragile compared to Zavier's own, bony fleshless hands and pronounced knuckles.

Raguna gave his hand a little squeeze, and Zavier felt a huge lurch in his stomach. He swallowed, grateful that it was dark and that Raguna could not see his wide eyes or red face. Why was his heart beating so fast...? He could feel it pounding so hard it threatened to break out of his chest. Could Raguna hear his heart thumping so loudly? Zavier resisted the urge to squirm away, praying he wouldn't notice.

Raguna leaned against Zavier, resting his chin atop his head. He raised his hand to his lips and pressed a kiss to his knuckles.

Zavier almost leapt out of his skin. He pushed Raguna away as hard as he could and whipped around so that his back faced him.

"What the hell are you _doing?"_ he spat vehemently, rubbing the feeling back into his ice-cold feet.

"S-Sorry," he heard Raguna say sheepishly. "Did you really hate that?"

"Of course I did, idiot!" Zavier snapped. "Why did you _do_ that? Stupid, stupid, _stupid..."_

"I said I was sorry," Raguna said. He sounded it, too. He shuffled closer to Zavier and leaned put his hands on his shoulders. "But Zavier..." He pressed his cool cheek against his neck. "Why were you pretending to be asleep?"

Zavier swore he felt his heart stop for a second. And all too suddenly he felt his face flare up horribly. He had never been so humiliated in his life! He jumped to his feet, sending Raguna sprawling backwards, and tried to storm off towards the tent- but only succeeded in embarrassing himself further by walking into a tree in the darkness.

"Ow!" He clamped a hand over his forehead.

"Are you okay?" Raguna blurted out, suddenly worried. He got up and felt his way towards Zavier in the darkness. "Where are you?"

"I'm _here_, stupid!" Zavier snapped angrily, his face still flaming. He held his arm out and waved it back and forth. He heard a snap and then a rustle, and then Raguna cried out in surprise as he fell, only just managing to cling onto Zavier's outstretched arm to keep himself upright.

"Watch where you're going!" Zavier said rudely.

"I could say the same to you!" Raguna regained his balance and with unsure fingers felt Zavier's forehead. Zavier flinched. "See!" Raguna said pointedly. "You can't see either. Otherwise you wouldn't have done that."

"Whatever," Zavier muttered. "We'd better get back to the tent. If we can find it."

"It's not _completely_ dark," Raguna said, nodding. "We'll be able to get there easily."

They stumbled aimlessly through the darkness. Raguna kept a tight grip on Zavier arm so that they didn't get separated. Luckily the tent was white, and was not too difficult to see. Unluckily, the path towards it was littered with sharp branches underfoot, and they walked into trees more than once.

They fell into the tent, half-laughing, half-groaning. Zavier closed his eyes, all ready to drop off again and sleep until morning, when he felt the presence of a person lying over him and warmth breath tickling his face. He didn't even have chance to open his eyes, let alone push Raguna away, before a pair of lips crashed onto his own.

Raguna was kissing him, forcing his tongue into his mouth and really kissing him, long and rough and desperate and oh God, it felt so good.

Zavier knew it was wrong. It was wrong and unnatural and was ruining the friendship he and Raguna had spent years building, but in that moment he didn't care. The feel of Raguna's lips moving against his and Raguna's body pressed flush against him was too much to bear. He couldn't fight it any more. He didn't _want_ to. So he kissed Raguna back, with as much longing and desperation as he was kissing him.

Raguna's hands moved from his neck to slide down his back to hook around his waist and cup his bottom, and to his own surprise, Zavier didn't force him away. Raguna seemed to take this as a positive sign, as moments later Zavier felt a squeeze on his rear.

He gasped as Raguna's hands continued to stroke over his back, bottom and thighs. Though he was fully clothed, he could still feel every touch burning into his skin like red hot iron. He wrapped his arms around Raguna's neck and pulled him closer, the passion and heat overwhelming his sense of reason.

Zavier frantically pulled Raguna's shirt over his head and threw it aside, and Raguna moved from his lips and down to leave a scorching path of kisses down his jaw and neck. Zavier willingly let his head fall backwards, allowing Raguna full access to his throat. Raguna bit down and sucked hard, making him yelp. He quickly flipped Raguna over to lay fully on top of him as they kissed, giving him the full contact he needed. He was turned on, and from the fee of things Raguna was too.

Raguna's hands caressed up Zavier's shirt as Zavier clumsily kissed along his collarbone, trying to mimic the way Raguna had done to him. He felt Raguna tighten his hand to grip his pectoral muscle, and then dig his bitten nails into his skin as if angry. He gasped and flinched as both his nipples were pinched and twisted viciously. He stopped kissing Raguna and squirmed away.

"What are... you doing?" he demanded between pants. "That... _hurts..._ stupid..." His words were stopped as Raguna bit his ear. "Ow! Stop it!"

"Don't talk," Raguna said breathily, and he turned over again, pinned Zavier wrists above his head with one hand and gripped his chin with the other and kissed him.

Zavier snatched his chin away, furious. "Raguna!" What was going on? Raguna was different. Something was different. "Mmm!" Raguna kissed him fiercely, and eventually, Zavier stopped trying to protest and just let him do whatever he wanted. And as he did so, Raguna became gentle once again, allowing Zavier to take over and making sure he was okay whenever his body jerked or twitched. As long as he kept his mouth shut.

Zavier didn't understand it. But he had never done anything like this before, and for all he knew, maybe they weren't _meant_ to talk. He just knew that it felt good, and so he played along with Raguna's little game. But despite the pleasure, he still couldn't forget how angry Raguna had seemed when he'd dared to talk.

Eventually the heat died down to a pleasant warmth, and the kisses became slower and more tired. Raguna pulled Zavier's head against his chest and they both lay there for a while, letting their breathing return to normal.

Raguna was already on the verge of falling asleep. Zavier bit his lip and glared up at him in confusion. Hell if he knew what was going through Raguna's head. Hell if he knew why he could make him feel so good and yet so scared. And Zavier was scared. He didn't know what was going on. He didn't know anything any more, except the steady rise and fall of Raguna's chest as he breathed and the slow beat of his heart beneath him.

–

**I still get embarrassed writing this sort of thing, you know! I was writing this while trying to have a conversation with my grandparents. Awkwaaard!**

**I really want Raguna to stop messing Zavier around, but I can't yet, because it's all part of the plot! I have to build up the sexual tension, ha ha ha! This chapter focused on Zavier, so we didn't get to see what Raguna was thinking, but all will become clear next chapter, when I will focus on Raguna!**

**On an unrelated note, same-sex couples are harder too write than heterosexual couples. I have to keep using their names, because if I say 'him' too much the reader will get confused and think 'Who is she taking about?'! In het I can write 'he' and 'she' so it's simpler!**

**Anyway, I will be very grateful if you review, because I'm feeling a little review-starved with this story. All reviews will be replied to, so feel free to ask questions or make suggestions for later chapters!**


	15. Leave you alone

When Raguna woke up the first thing he noticed was the sandy-coloured hair tickling his nose as he breathed. He groaned as the shattered memories of the previous night pieced themselves back together in his mind. He had done it again, he realised. Quickly, he propped up the upper half of his body with his elbows and carefully moved Zavier's sleeping body from being draped over him to lying by his side.

In his sleep, Zavier wriggled and murmured something under his breath. As he stretched out his neck, Raguna saw that his throat, chest and collarbone were mottled with dark purple marks. Raguna reached out with trembling fingers and touched a predominant one that lurked on the side of Zavier's neck, just under his ear. Zavier flinched and Raguna winced as if he'd slapped him. Had he hurt Zavier when he'd made those marks?

Raguna sat up properly and rubbed his eyes. He realised that he was still shirtless from the night before, and picked his T-shirt up from beside him. As he put it on, he saw that Zavier wasn't the only one with rings of red teeth marks on his body. He felt his face begin to burn.

He contemplated getting up and washing, but just couldn't bring himself to. Despite the fact that he'd had a full night's sleep (plus much of the previous day) he still felt drained. He supposed it was the sickness. So, he flopped back down in his sleeping bag and sighed.

Almost immediately he heard a rustle as Zavier turned in his sleeping bag, and a moment later a tanned, skinny arm wrapped around his middle. Zavier snuggled up to him and nuzzled his face into his shoulder.

Raguna almost laughed. He had no doubt that Zavier was asleep. He would never be so bold as to do that knowingly. Raguna turned onto his side so that he was facing him. He had never noticed how young Zavier looked when he was asleep. The defensive frown that permanently creased his brow was gone, and his lower lip was pushed out slightly further than his upper lip, making his look like he was pouting. Raguna cupped his face in his hands and ran his thumbs over Zavier's freckled cheeks and the bridge of his nose.

Raguna smiled. He knew how much Zavier hated his freckles, but _he_ liked them. He hadn't met anyone else with so many before. He studied Zavier's face, and absent-mindedly counted his freckles.

Then Zavier opened his eyes. After a few seconds pause, he woke up properly and a furious blush took over his face, masking his freckles and making Raguna lose count. He pulled his arms back from around Raguna's waist and jumped away from him, the frown back on his face.

"Wh-What do you think you're-"

"Zavier." Raguna grabbed the wrist of the hand that was pushing against him and pulled Zavier against him. He gripped his chin between his thumb and forefinger and raised his head to face him, and to his surprise, Zavier didn't try to fight him off. Raguna leaned in towards him, making sure to keep his eyes open.

He could see that Zavier already knew what was coming, because he squeezed his eyes tight shut and tented his eyebrows and bit his lips together and wrinkled his nose in anticipation. Raguna stopped. He couldn't kiss Zavier. Not when he was making a face like that.

But slowly, Zavier began to relax against him. The crinkles faded from his face and he pushed his lips out slightly, offering them to Raguna. Waiting to be kissed.

Raguna was sure he felt his heart stop, just for a second. Because as soon as he saw Zavier leaning into him like that, waiting for his lips to meet his, he realised something. It wasn't just his own feelings he was messing around with his stupid, forced fantasies about Mist. In the end, it was _Zavier _who would end up getting hurt.

Zavier began to frown, and Raguna realised that he had stupidly held onto his chin the whole time he had been thinking. Zavier opened his eyes, saw Raguna staring at him. His face turned bright red.

"_You!"_ He snatched his chin away, drew back his fist and punched Raguna in the chest. Raguna doubled over, coughing. Zavier flung open the tent and stormed out, humiliated. Raguna didn't tell him to wait. Instead, he flopped back down on his sleeping bag and rubbed over his face with the palms of his hands.

"Why did you do that, Zavier..." he murmured to himself. It didn't make any sense. Raguna regretted kissing him because he was betraying Mist and nothing else. It didn't matter to him that he and Zavier were both men. But it _did_ matter to Zavier. The very idea of two men in _that_ sort of relationship frightened Zavier, and Raguna knew it. Why, then, was he willing to let Raguna do those things to him?

Raguna rolled onto his stomach and wriggled his way out of the tent. Zavier was drinking from his flask. He was still smouldering, and Raguna decided not to approach him until the chance of getting burned was significantly lower. He pushed himself out of his sleeping bag and sat down properly on the ground. Zavier stomped over to him and slammed the flask into his chest.

"Th-Thanks," Raguna coughed. He took a swig from the flask and rubbed his stomach ruefully, wishing the constant aching would cease, only for a second. He heard a quick, vicious thud as Zavier kicked the ground. Raguna sighed. It looked like Zavier was really angry.

"Sorry," Raguna said. He didn't just want to leave it at that. He wanted to say sorry for using him, for holding him against his will, and for holding him _with_ his will. But he didn't.

Zavier glared down at him from where he stood. Then he sat down, and Raguna looked a him, really looked at him. It seemed forever since he had looked at Zavier and actually seen him. No matter how hard it was to hold on to the image of Mist while he was kissing him, Raguna had always managed, somehow, to do it. Now, looking at Zavier, Raguna found it incredibly easy to forget his loyalty to Mist. It didn't make any sense.

"What are you staring at?" Zavier demanded suddenly, whipping round so he was face-to-face with Raguna, his lips tightened into a thin white line or irritation.

Raguna laughed, reached out and rubbed his forehead, pretending to smooth out the wrinkles. Zavier's frown only strengthened and he slapped Raguna's hand away. So Raguna leaned over and kissed his forehead instead. Zavier's eyes widened and he hide his face on Raguna's shoulder.

"Hey, hey, what's up?" Raguna said, laughing and playing with Zavier's hair. Zavier's nails were digging into his arms from where he gripped his shirt.

"You," Zavier mumbled, refusing to look up.

Raguna knew exactly how he felt with that one. He wrapped his arms around Zavier's hunched shoulders. He wished he knew how to stop. Maybe if he knew, he would fight it. He pushed gently in Zavier's shoulders, trying to ease him away, but to his surprise Zavier clung to him, refusing to show his face. At that, Raguna felt the last of his resolve disintegrate, and he put his hands on either side of Zavier's face and tilted his head up and kissed him.

"Bastard," Zavier hissed when he pulled away. He didn't sound angry, just frustrated. This time, it was _Raguna_ who had to push _Zavier_ away. He didn't understand. This was Zavier. He had kissed _Zavier._ And he had done it perfectly aware, without the image of Mist in his mind.

He got up quickly, tipping Zavier back as he did so. "We should go," he said emotionlessly. "We still have a few days walk ahead of us." He quickly began to un-pitch the tent. Behind him he heard Zavier scrambling to his feet.

"You can't _do_ that!" he shouted suddenly.

"Do what," Raguna stated, not looking at him. For some reason, his chest was hurting.

"_That!" _Zavier said furiously. "You can't... k-kiss someone and then act like... like you..."

Raguna sighed. "Zavier, please stop shouting," he begged, rubbing his temples, a pained frown on his face.

"I will _not_ stop shouting!" Zavier shrieked. "Raguna! If you do this-! If you do this... then I'm going to..."

_I'm going to fall in love with you._

The words were never said, but somehow both knew that the other was thinking exactly that. Raguna stood up straight and turned to look Zavier in the eyes. He didn't know what to think any more. Everything was so confusing. So damn confusing, and he couldn't stand it. A small smile took over his face; the saddest smile Zavier had ever seen.

"Let's stop this, okay Zavier?" he whispered. "Zavier?" Raguna reached out to touch his arm, but he flinched away and Raguna let his hand fall back to his side.

"You bastard," Zavier said quietly. His fists clenched and unclenched at his sides. "Don't start what you can't finish." He turned suddenly. "Hurry up," he ordered loudly. "We'd better set off soon."

As Raguna folded the tent away, he remembered something Lady Ann used to say like it was going out of fashion. 'Don't stick your head where your behind can't follow!'. But that was exactly what Raguna had done. He had gone half-way with Zavier. And now he was stuck. There was no way he could resolve this with just a few words. He didn't want to forget Mist and to make sure of that he had to use Zavier. He didn't want to use Zavier, but if he didn't he ran the risk of forgetting Mist. He was in a no-win situation, but there was one thing he was sure of. Zavier didn't need him forcing his fantasies on him. Mist was dead, and she couldn't feel Raguna's betrayal; but Zavier, Zavier was very much alive and every little thing Raguna did was affecting him more than he would ever let on.

So Raguna decided that under no circumstances would he kiss or touch Zavier again. He would remember Mist by his own will.

"I'm sorry, Zav," Raguna said. "I'm sorry."

"I know," Zavier replied. He slung the rucksack over his shoulder, wincing as he did so. He rubbed his side. There was an awkward pause.

"Why?"

"Excuse me?" Raguna looked up as he stuffed the rest of the tent into it's bag.

"Why did you kiss me?" Zavier turned his back on Raguna as he asked.

Raguna felt his face heat up. "Why did you kiss me back?" he asked pointedly. He saw the tips of Zavier's ears turn crimson.

"Shut up."

A smile spread across Raguna's face and he had to bite his lip to stop himself laughing because he knew he shouldn't, not at a time like this, and especially as Zavier was being so serious. He didn't even know why he was laughing. He wasn't happy, far from it. But there was just something about Zavier that made him want to smile, despite it all.

He walked over to him and slid the rucksack form his shoulder. Zavier tried to snatch it back.

"I can-"

"I know," Raguna interrupted, raising a hand in his defence. "I just thought I'd carry it today."

Zavier scowled. "You always carry it," he muttered sulkily. "I could carry it..."

Raguna smiled and shook his head. Why was Zavier so keen to give himself extra work? Did he really feel so useless when he wasn't directly helping out? Zavier had never shown any great need to prove himself up until Raguna and Mist had married. His stubbornness had grown even more after Mist had died and they had joined the Resistance.

Raguna slung the rucksack over his shoulders and then picked up the bag containing the tent, too.

"I'll get that," Zavier said quickly, holding his hand out for it.

"I'm fine," Raguna said. He set off walking, a slow, steady stroll. "It's not that heavy, so it doesn't make much of a difference."

"H-Hey!" Zavier stumbled along next to him. "Quit acting like I can't do anything, because I can! I'm not a little kid."

Raguna raised his eyebrows. Zavier was pouting, and he had puffed his cheeks out with annoyance. He really did look every part the little kid. Raguna stopped walking. Zavier almost tripped himself up trying to stop in time.

"Okay," Raguna said. A smile spread over his face. He couldn't help it. He wasn't a mean person, but Zavier just made it too easy. He held the bag over his head. "Jump for it."

Zavier's eyes widened to the size of saucers. "I... I... _No!_" he barked angrily, sounding as if he couldn't quite believe what he was hearing.

"You can't have it then," Raguna said plainly, a perfectly innocent smile on his face.

"I'm _not_ going to jump, you sick bastard!" Zavier yelled, glaring up at Raguna. Raguna had to stifle a laugh when he noticed Zavier was raising onto his tiptoes to seem taller anyway. He couldn't resist lifting his hand to ruffle Zavier's hair, making it droop down and cover his eyes. The action was bound to infuriate him even more, and admittedly, that was part of the reason Raguna did it.

Zavier jabbed him in the stomach. Raguna doubled over, coughing and choking on his own saliva. Zavier swiped the bag from his unresisting hands, turned on his heel and marched away. Raguna couldn't stop coughing. He stayed there, hands on his knees, gagging and struggling to breathe. He could feel his head growing light. The pain in his stomach was dizzying. Bile rose in his throat and he vomited all over the ground.

Suddenly Zavier was back and his arms were around him, forcing him to keep standing.

"I..." Zavier looked away, ashamed. "Sorry, I..."

"It's okay," Raguna gasped, composing himself. He wiped his forehead of the sweat that had coated his skin. He smiled weakly at Zavier. "I _was_ sort of asking for that, wasn't I?"

"Yeah, you were."

Without thinking, Raguna reached out to touch Zavier's face. But then he remembered. Stopped. His fingers froze mid-air, just a few centimetres from Zavier's freckled cheek. Zavier's eyes flickered, glancing towards the hand so close to his face. He didn't say anything.

Slowly, Raguna let his hand drop back to his side. Zavier helped him to straighten up and get back on his feet. And they carried on walking in silence.

–

**I'm a little upset at the moment, and writing this hasn't really cheered me up! Long story short, I'm a very closed person when it comes to love, despite the fact that I write romance all the time, and I can't trust people easily at all. Whenever people tell me 'I love (insertnamehere)' I say 'You think you love them, but after a while you'll have forgotten about them'. But recently this one guy showed some interest in me. He seemed really nice and didn't try to push me into doing anything I was uncomfortable with, although I knew he wanted a 'proper' relationship, and stupidly, I let myself believe all the things he was saying to me. One day he was all 'I love you', but then suddenly, a few days later, he tells me 'I've been seeing another girl and I love her now'. And all that trust I had put in him, and the slight belief that young love can be more than just infatuation, completely shattered. I didn't like him, not in that way, so maybe it's a good thing. But the fact that he was so quick to forget me as soon as a more open girl came along really does nothing for my 'trusting people' issues.**

**Well, I'll stop angsting over nothing now! I'm just glad I didn't fall in love with him- if I had, I'd have been even more shook up. I put a brave face on everything, so he thought I wouldn't care. I suppose it is partly my fault. He needed companionship and I couldn't give him it, not now. And that's basically all there is to it.**

**Read and review if you want to! Thanks.**


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